Colbert’s Staff Asks Him if He Wants to Hear the ‘Good News of My Dark Moloch,’ His ‘Dark Powers’ Could Save His Show

COLBERT When he s ░░░░░░░░ suing everybody he s ░░░░░░░░ insane executive actions The ░░░░░░░░ is a memo that ░░░░░░░░ federal workers to persuade ░░░░░░░░ their religion is correct ░░░░░░░░ boos And also with ░░░░░░░░ They say any religion ░░░░░░░░ you get a sense ░░░░░░░░ which one the memo ░░░░░░░░ rooting for because it ░░░░░░░░ that no disciplinary action ░░░░░░░░ be taken against employees ░░░░░░░░ religious items such as ░░░░░░░░ crucifixes and mezuzah Yes ░░░░░░░░ can display any religious ░░░░░░░░ crosses crucifixes lower case ░░░░░░░░ made of wood the ░░░░░░░░ that vampires are scared ░░░░░░░░ and mezuzah Maybe two ░░░░░░░░ like this Now before ░░░░░░░░ say that this is ░░░░░░░░ to start a holy ░░░░░░░░ in the break room ░░░░░░░░ should know that the ░░░░░░░░ allows employees to push ░░░░░░░░ religion provided that such ░░░░░░░░ are not harassing in ░░░░░░░░ Of course Converting people ░░░░░░░░ your religion is always ░░░░░░░░ chill Laughter That s ░░░░░░░░ all those people died ░░░░░░░░ the Spanish gentle suggestion ░░░░░░░░ and Applause The new ░░░░░░░░ have alarmed some legal ░░░░░░░░ STAFFER Hey Stephen COLBERT ░░░░░░░░ What s up Corey ░░░░░░░░ m in the middle ░░░░░░░░ a monologue here STAFFER ░░░░░░░░ know how it just ░░░░░░░░ okay to convert your ░░░░░░░░ workers COLBERT Yeah Corey ░░░░░░░░ m talking about it ░░░░░░░░ now STAFFER Oh I ░░░░░░░░ t watch the show ░░░░░░░░ What do you want ░░░░░░░░ STAFFER I was wondering ░░░░░░░░ you d want to ░░░░░░░░ the good news about ░░░░░░░░ dark lord Moloch COLBERT ░░░░░░░░ I don t want ░░░░░░░░ hear about Moloch Listen ░░░░░░░░ do you but I ░░░░░░░░ not interested STAFFER But ░░░░░░░░ dark powers could save ░░░░░░░░ show Laughter COLBERT Okay ░░░░░░░░ m listening What what ░░░░░░░░ I have to do ░░░░░░░░ Not much A little ░░░░░░░░ sacrifice maybe volunteer at ░░░░░░░░ few of our bake ░░░░░░░░ COLBERT You have bake ░░░░░░░░ STAFFER We re not ░░░░░░░░ Stephen We just worship ░░░░░░░░ Lemon square Only 50 ░░░░░░░░ And your soul COLBERT ░░░░░░░░ thanks I m low ░░░░░░░░ these days Laughter We ░░░░░░░░ a great show for ░░░░░░░░ tonight!”