Colbert Plays MC Hammer’s ‘Can’t Touch This’ to Mock Report of Iran Nuclear Facilities Remaining Operational

COLBERT After the ceasefire ░░░░░░░░ Republicans were tootin Trump ░░░░░░░░ horn Alabama Senator Katie ░░░░░░░░ said this Clip starts ░░░░░░░░ President Trump is going ░░░░░░░░ win the Nobel Peace ░░░░░░░░ no doubt Clip ends ░░░░░░░░ Um On the other ░░░░░░░░ some doubt I m ░░░░░░░░ sure they give an ░░░░░░░░ for bombing people into ░░░░░░░░ I think you re ░░░░░░░░ of the J D ░░░░░░░░ and Associates Award for ░░░░░░░░ heavy duty kablooey So ░░░░░░░░ over maybe Because right ░░░░░░░░ until Trump s deadline ░░░░░░░░ and Iran kept bombing ░░░░░░░░ other Then after the ░░░░░░░░ Israel accused Iran of ░░░░░░░░ the ceasefire and threatened ░░░░░░░░ retaliate Trump was asked ░░░░░░░░ the fragile state of ░░░░░░░░ ceasefire this morning on ░░░░░░░░ White House lawn Clip ░░░░░░░░ Trump We basically have ░░░░░░░░ countries that have been ░░░░░░░░ so long and so ░░░░░░░░ that they don t ░░░░░░░░ what the bleep they ░░░░░░░░ doing Clip ends COLBERT ░░░░░░░░ Wow He is so ░░░░░░░░ and or so projecting ░░░░░░░░ don t know what ░░░░░░░░ bleep they re doing ░░░░░░░░ re starting to wonder ░░░░░░░░ tell ya folks they ░░░░░░░░ starting to wonder if ░░░░░░░░ even wanted all of ░░░░░░░░ Sure they like the ░░░░░░░░ but the job itself ░░░░░░░░ sucks All they want ░░░░░░░░ do is eat bleep ░░░░░░░░ and watch bleep TV ░░░░░░░░ play a little bleep ░░░░░░░░ What the bleep Okay ░░░░░░░░ on Hold on Cheering ░░░░░░░░ Applause Whether or not ░░░░░░░░ ceasefire holds one thing ░░░░░░░░ know for certain is ░░░░░░░░ our military operation was ░░░░░░░░ it because hostilities have ░░░░░░░░ there were no American ░░░░░░░░ and the president told ░░░░░░░░ this Clip starts Trump ░░░░░░░░ s key nuclear enrichment ░░░░░░░░ have been completely and ░░░░░░░░ obliterated Clip ends COLBERT ░░░░░░░░ that s one less ░░░░░░░░ in the world Except ░░░░░░░░ one more problem today ░░░░░░░░ learned that U S ░░░░░░░░ has determined Iran s ░░░░░░░░ of enriched uranium was ░░░░░░░░ destroyed and their centrifuges ░░░░░░░░ largely intact Oopsa nukey ░░░░░░░░ less Operation Midnight Hammer ░░░░░░░░ more Operation MC Hammer ░░░░░░░░ that Iran s nuclear ░░░░░░░░ just sent this message ░░░░░░░░ their centrifuges Clip starts ░░░░░░░░ HAMMER Can t touch ░░░░░░░░ Clip ends Cheering and ░░░░░░░░ COLBERT Still got it ░░░░░░░░ gotta get the big ░░░░░░░░ When confronted with the ░░░░░░░░ White House Press Secretary ░░░░░░░░ Leavitt said This alleged ░░░░░░░░ is flat out wrong ░░░░░░░░ was classified as top ░░░░░░░░ Sure of course cause ░░░░░░░░ s the way top ░░░░░░░░ works Psst I have ░░░░░░░░ that is flat out ░░░░░░░░ Tell no one So ░░░░░░░░ decades of president resisting ░░░░░░░░ s entreaties to bomb ░░░░░░░░ s nuclear facilities Trump ░░░░░░░░ an enormous risk put ░░░░░░░░ service members in harm ░░░░░░░░ way bombed Iran for ░░░░░░░░ first time ever with ░░░░░░░░ largest conventional weapons ever ░░░░░░░░ which we used for ░░░░░░░░ first time in this ░░░░░░░░ and we didn t ░░░░░░░░ their nuclear program How ░░░░░░░░ the administration manage that ░░░░░░░░ starts Trump They don ░░░░░░░░ know what the bleep ░░░░░░░░ re doing Clip ends ░░░░░░░░ and Applause COLBERT Oh ░░░░░░░░ Understood There you go ░░░░░░░░ it is.”