Colbert to Trump Calling Him ‘Not Funny,’ ‘Not Wise’: ‘Kiss My Salty Man-Bag You Crusty Old Dingus’

COLBERT Now our self ░░░░░░░░ mandate here at The ░░░░░░░░ Show every night is ░░░░░░░░ talk about what s ░░░░░░░░ on in the news ░░░░░░░░ And I don t ░░░░░░░░ like to insert myself ░░░░░░░░ it but sometimes the ░░░░░░░░ inserts itself into me ░░░░░░░░ it s happened again ░░░░░░░░ night Donald Trump got ░░░░░░░░ up on prescription strength ░░░░░░░░ Tacs and he posted ░░░░░░░░ I briefly watched an ░░░░░░░░ of Stephen Colbert on ░░░░░░░░ government subsidized PBS Why ░░░░░░░░ they be wasting time ░░░░░░░░ the public s money ░░░░░░░░ this complete and total ░░░░░░░░ Cheering and Applause Wow ░░░░░░░░ Wow In the middle ░░░░░░░░ a hotly contested presidential ░░░░░░░░ you took the time ░░░░░░░░ hate watch me on ░░░░░░░░ First of all I ░░░░░░░░ flattered thank you Thank ░░░░░░░░ Thank you But more ░░░░░░░░ you should be hate ░░░░░░░░ me on CBS Daddy ░░░░░░░░ the views Actually wait ░░░░░░░░ second you re 78 ░░░░░░░░ re out of the ░░░░░░░░ nobody cares if you ░░░░░░░░ Now presumably the show ░░░░░░░░ was talking about was ░░░░░░░░ PBS NewsHour interview with ░░░░░░░░ and my wife Evie ░░░░░░░░ our bestselling book Does ░░░░░░░░ Taste Funny a book ░░░░░░░░ can buy right now ░░░░░░░░ s a best seller ░░░░░░░░ New York Times best ░░░░░░░░ Trump s review went ░░░░░░░░ He is not funny ░░░░░░░░ is not wise Not ░░░░░░░░ How dare you sir ░░░░░░░░ dare you May I ░░░░░░░░ you of the immortal ░░░░░░░░ of Socrates who said ░░░░░░░░ my salty man bag ░░░░░░░░ crusty old dingus Cheering ░░░░░░░░ Applause The former president ░░░░░░░░ may I remind you ░░░░░░░░ less than six weeks ░░░░░░░░ from an election that ░░░░░░░░ him could mean either ░░░░░░░░ power or a serious ░░░░░░░░ sentence took the time ░░░░░░░░ add that I am ░░░░░░░░ boring Very boring I ░░░░░░░░ to differ And so ░░░░░░░░ the greatest audience in ░░░░░░░░ world Cheering and Applause ░░░░░░░░ Still if you are ░░░░░░░░ why Trump wrote in ░░░░░░░░ caps that I am ░░░░░░░░ boring I am confident ░░░░░░░░ it s because during ░░░░░░░░ PBS interview I said ░░░░░░░░ Clip starts NAWAZ Would ░░░░░░░░ have former President Trump ░░░░░░░░ the show COLBERT I ░░░░░░░░ had him before and ░░░░░░░░ was kind of boring ░░░░░░░░ no Clip ends Audience ░░░░░░░░ Stephen Stephen COLBET Thank ░░░░░░░░ Ladies and gentlemen he ░░░░░░░░ clearly upset because I ░░░░░░░░ him boring and I ░░░░░░░░ him boring cause I ░░░░░░░░ it would upset him ░░░░░░░░ it did cause he ░░░░░░░░ so predictable which is ░░░░░░░░ what makes him kind ░░░░░░░░ boring Cheering and Applause ░░░░░░░░ But Trump wasn t ░░░░░░░░ ranting He continued CBS ░░░░░░░░ terminate his contract and ░░░░░░░░ almost anyone right off ░░░░░░░░ street who would do ░░░░░░░░ and for far less ░░░░░░░░ Well okay I disagree ░░░░░░░░ to be fair I ░░░░░░░░ gonna give it a ░░░░░░░░ Let me just take ░░░░░░░░ peek outside to Times ░░░░░░░░ and see if I ░░░░░░░░ grab anybody Hold on ░░░░░░░░ second be right back ░░░░░░░░ and Applause Okay There ░░░░░░░░ go Hey You fella ░░░░░░░░ guy in the red ░░░░░░░░ Get in here Come ░░░░░░░░ Thanks so much Thanks ░░░░░░░░ much See that spot ░░░░░░░░ here Just stand right ░░░░░░░░ I picked you at ░░░░░░░░ off the street to ░░░░░░░░ The Late Show If ░░░░░░░░ just stand there and ░░░░░░░░ off the prompter COHEN ░░░░░░░░ Elmo costume I can ░░░░░░░░ read the prompter with ░░░░░░░░ head on COLBERT Sorry ░░░░░░░░ did you say COHEN ░░░░░░░░ Elmo costume I can ░░░░░░░░ read the prompter with ░░░░░░░░ head on COLBERT I ░░░░░░░░ sorry I can t ░░░░░░░░ you COHEN I can ░░░░░░░░ read the prompter with ░░░░░░░░ head on Cheering and ░░░░░░░░ COLBERT Bravo s brilliant ░░░░░░░░ Cohen COHEN Where s ░░░░░░░░ cocktail There it is ░░░░░░░░ Stephen We have a ░░░░░░░░ show for you tonight ░░░░░░░░ Gates is here Jane ░░░░░░░░ is here COLBERT But ░░░░░░░░ we come back a ░░░░░░░░ York Republican is in ░░░░░░░░ dum dum Andy Cohen ░░░░░░░░