Colbert Mocks Trump’s Speech About Shampooing His Hair: ‘Is Everyone Done Picturing Me All Nude and Lathered Up?’

COLBERT I understand brown ░░░░░░░░ brown bear what do ░░░░░░░░ see I understand why ░░░░░░░░ is not thrilled about ░░░░░░░░ 78 because his entire ░░░░░░░░ message is Biden is ░░░░░░░░ But if Trump won ░░░░░░░░ 78 Trump would be ░░░░░░░░ oldest president ever inaugurated ░░░░░░░░ s so old they ░░░░░░░░ gonna have to swear ░░░░░░░░ in on a stack ░░░░░░░░ Depends Laughter In a ░░░░░░░░ in bath tub Now ░░░░░░░░ course while Trump s ░░░░░░░░ stays forever young you ░░░░░░░░ t say the same ░░░░░░░░ the brain right below ░░░░░░░░ We got more proof ░░░░░░░░ that this weekend when ░░░░░░░░ tried to shame Joe ░░░░░░░░ into taking the cognitive ░░░░░░░░ and brought up his ░░░░░░░░ White House doctor Ronny ░░░░░░░░ That name again Ronny ░░░░░░░░ Mr Trump Clip starts ░░░░░░░░ I took a cognitive ░░░░░░░░ and I aced it ░░░░░░░░ Ronny Doc Ronny Johnson ░░░░░░░░ everyone know Ronny Johnson ░░░░░░░░ ends COLBERT I love ░░░░░░░░ Johnson Doc Ronny Doc ░░░░░░░░ Johnson he gave me ░░░░░░░░ test then I went ░░░░░░░░ to my beautiful wife ░░░░░░░░ and I went home ░░░░░░░░ Malaria and my two ░░░░░░░░ sons Urkel and Carl ░░░░░░░░ Jr Laughter and Applause ░░░░░░░░ the same event in ░░░░░░░░ Trump played some of ░░░░░░░░ greatest hits like comparing ░░░░░░░░ to a notorious gangster ░░░░░░░░ that s a good ░░░░░░░░ Clip starts Trump I ░░░░░░░░ indicted more than the ░░░░░░░░ Alphonse Capone Has anyone ░░░░░░░░ of Alphonse Capone Scarface ░░░░░░░░ was so mean that ░░░░░░░░ he had dinner with ░░░░░░░░ person and if he ░░░░░░░░ t like em he ░░░░░░░░ kill the person they ░░░░░░░░ never find them again ░░░░░░░░ Mike Lindell He wouldn ░░░░░░░░ like Mike You know ░░░░░░░░ He d say Those ░░░░░░░░ they are driving me ░░░░░░░░ Let s get rid ░░░░░░░░ this guy Al Capone ░░░░░░░░ take Mike out in ░░░░░░░░ minutes You d never ░░░░░░░░ found He d be ░░░░░░░░ under the World Trade ░░░░░░░░ Clip ends Audience reacts ░░░░░░░░ Now I m no ░░░░░░░░ but does Donald Trump ░░░░░░░░ to murder Mike Lindell ░░░░░░░░ first Al Capone liked ░░░░░░░░ Lindell because he helped ░░░░░░░░ but then Mike started ░░░░░░░░ say dumb stuff that ░░░░░░░░ Alphonse Alphone does not ░░░░░░░░ to be embarrassed it ░░░░░░░░ him feel small like ░░░░░░░░ did in front of ░░░░░░░░ father Fred Capone So ░░░░░░░░ took Mike s Mypillow ░░░░░░░░ pressed it over his ░░░░░░░░ until until Mike stopped ░░░░░░░░ Laughter and Applause I ░░░░░░░░ I don t understand ░░░░░░░░ no longer I don ░░░░░░░░ try to understand I ░░░░░░░░ one more clip to ░░░░░░░░ you from the Detroit ░░░░░░░░ but first a warning ░░░░░░░░ following contains graphic descriptions ░░░░░░░░ Donald Trump showering Children ░░░░░░░░ who are nursing or ░░░░░░░░ and the elderly pull ░░░░░░░░ a chair and watch ░░░░░░░░ Clip starts Trump I ░░░░░░░░ had the experience I ░░░░░░░░ a shower I want ░░░░░░░░ beautiful hair of head ░░░░░░░░ be nice and wet ░░░░░░░░ I want it to ░░░░░░░░ lathered beautifully And I ░░░░░░░░ the best stuff you ░░░░░░░░ buy and I dump ░░░░░░░░ all over And then ░░░░░░░░ turn on the water ░░░░░░░░ that damn water drips ░░░░░░░░ takes me I can ░░░░░░░░ get this stuff out ░░░░░░░░ my hair Clip ends ░░░░░░░░ I take very normal ░░░░░░░░ regular showers Before I ░░░░░░░░ on the water at ░░░░░░░░ I dump the best ░░░░░░░░ right on my head ░░░░░░░░ premium head dumping stuff ░░░░░░░░ old big old head ░░░░░░░░ but the water I ░░░░░░░░ the water on it ░░░░░░░░ drips out and the ░░░░░░░░ gunk hardens into impenetrable ░░░░░░░░ building up slowly over ░░░░░░░░ like sedimentary rock until ░░░░░░░░ see this magnificent lacquered ░░░░░░░░ I have on today ░░░░░░░░ is everyone done picturing ░░░░░░░░ all nude and lathered ░░░░░░░░ Because they re about ░░░░░░░░ serve lunch they re ░░░░░░░░ to serve lunch It ░░░░░░░░ little smoky links and ░░░░░░░░ cream sauce Who s ░░░░░░░░ Who wants Laughter I ░░░░░░░░