Colbert Tells Clarence Thomas to ‘Suck It’ for Planning to Revisit Rights to Contraception, Gay Marriage, and Overturning Sodomy Laws

RUSH TRANSCRIPT Overturning Roe ░░░░░░░░ not be the Supreme ░░░░░░░░ s only kick to ░░░░░░░░ groin because in a ░░░░░░░░ opinion Justice Clarence Thomas ░░░░░░░░ the court should also ░░░░░░░░ decisions on the right ░░░░░░░░ contraception the right of ░░░░░░░░ couples to marry and ░░░░░░░░ overturning of sodomy laws ░░░░░░░░ booing Which among other ░░░░░░░░ would ban oral sex ░░░░░░░░ in response I just ░░░░░░░░ to say Clarence Thomas ░░░░░░░░ suck it laughter applause ░░░░░░░░ and I mean that ░░░░░░░░ I mean that in ░░░░░░░░ nicest way possible I ░░░░░░░░ to encourage that With ░░░░░░░░ in the judicial crosshairs ░░░░░░░░ are taking their genitals ░░░░░░░░ their own hands with ░░░░░░░░ rushing to get vasectomies ░░░░░░░░ then very slowly walking ░░░░░░░░ from them laughter According ░░░░░░░░ one urologist before the ░░░░░░░░ Court s ruling he ░░░░░░░░ four or five vasectomy ░░░░░░░░ a day But since ░░░░░░░░ decision that number has ░░░░░░░░ to 12 to 18 ░░░░░░░░ sense The most effective ░░░░░░░░ of birth control for ░░░░░░░░ are abstinence and vasectomies ░░░░░░░░ have a similar result ░░░░░░░░ there s a vas ░░░░░░░░ laughter applause Really Really ░░░░░░░░ you go Someone someone ░░░░░░░░ to health class Those ░░░░░░░░ numbers are from Doug ░░░░░░░░ a Florida urologist known ░░░░░░░░ the vasectomy king Oh ░░░░░░░░ love vasectomy king They ░░░░░░░░ way better fries than ░░░░░░░░ Donald s laughter Hmmm ░░░░░░░░ up on news from ░░░░░░░░ a 72 year old ░░░░░░░░ has become the first ░░░░░░░░ in the world diagnosed ░░░░░░░░ a whistling scrotum Why ░░░░░░░░ his scrotum whistling It ░░░░░░░░ t remember the words ░░░░░░░░ Apparently applause That s ░░░░░░░░ downtown That joke is ░░░░░░░░ way downtown Apparently the ░░░░░░░░ man was quickly sent ░░░░░░░░ a hospital after he ░░░░░░░░ of a hissing noise ░░░░░░░░ from his genitalia leading ░░░░░░░░ to ask is that ░░░░░░░░ snake in your pocket ░░░░░░░░ are you just happy ░░░░░░░░ see me Or third ░░░░░░░░ are your genitals hissing ░░░░░░░░ taking some scans doctors ░░░░░░░░ his lungs had collapsed ░░░░░░░░ a build up of ░░░░░░░░ inside his body which ░░░░░░░░ escaping through an open ░░░░░░░░ on the left side ░░░░░░░░ his scrotum When he ░░░░░░░░ the diagnosis his scrotum ░░░░░░░░ whistling wow applause That ░░░░░░░░ a quality joke Louis ░░░░░░░░ s a quality joke ░░░░░░░░ pretty good one isn ░░░░░░░░ it Very good There ░░░░░░░░ go Last up in ░░░░░░░░ crotches we re watching ░░░░░░░░ austrian man has contracted ░░░░░░░░ gonorrhea It s extremely ░░░░░░░░ to diagnose because it ░░░░░░░░ like normal gonorrhea until ░░░░░░░░ takes off its glasses ░░░░░░░░ applause Apparently look up ░░░░░░░░ the sky Apparently the ░░░░░░░░ got it after having ░░░░░░░░ sex on vacation And ░░░░░░░░ s not just a ░░░░░░░░ souvenir because scientists are ░░░░░░░░ super gonorrhea poses a ░░░░░░░░ global public health threat ░░░░░░░░ s why we here ░░░░░░░░ the late show have ░░░░░░░░ a sing a long ░░░░░░░░ s a to raise ░░░░░░░░ A five six seven ░░░░░░░░ singing to supercalifragilistic Super ░░░░░░░░ now I ve got ░░░░░░░░ giant teste It s ░░░░░░░░ super strain so penicillin ░░░░░░░░ not help me It ░░░░░░░░ like my junk just ░░░░░░░░ sucked into a vacuum ░░░░░░░░ Super gonorrhea super really ░░░░░░░░ my wiener applause We ░░░░░░░░ got a great show ░░░░░░░░ you tonight There you ░░░░░░░░