Watters: Sources Say that the ‘Gay Ayatollah Is a Burned up Vegetable’

EXCERPT:

WATTERS: "Sources tell The New York Times that the gay ayatollah is a burned up vegetable. He’s missing a leg, has had three surgeries on the other one, surgeries on his hand, and his face and lips are burnt severely, so burnt that the ayatollah can’t talk and actually needs a facelift. There’s no way of communicating with him one-on-one. Right now, not even Guard commanders have access. They’re worried, if they go to his cave, Mossad will track it down and bomb it. So cardboard’s underground, surrounded by a crew of Persian cosmetic surgeons. The only way of sending him a message? Handwritten letters delivered by a guy on a camel who avoids roads. Sources also say the supreme leader isn’t in charge. It’s like he’s on a board of directors, but everybody else on the board, they’re holding guns.”