Colbert Proudly Declares ‘We’re America, We Don’t Lose Wars, We Just Leave Them’

RUSH EXCERPT:

COLBERT: “Which leads us to the segment that will follow me to my grave: hormuz nuz u can uz: Iran takes twoz. We in deep doo-dooz. The captured ships were two cargo vessels named the msc-francesca and the eh-pammuh-nandas. Which is actually how I pronounce empanadas after a night of drinking. “ooooh, less ges sum eh-pammuh-nandas. Siri! Siri, eh-pammuh-nandas near me. Eh-pammuh-nandas with the green sauce. She calling 911 again.” One Iranian official explained: “Trump’s ceasefire extension means nothing,” adding “the losing side cannot dictate terms.” Hey! Hey, buddy! We’re America! We don’t lose wars. We just leave them.“