The Daily Show: Trump’s ‘Going to Take Bribes No Matter What’

KLEPPER Oh right right ░░░░░░░░ sure it looks bad ░░░░░░░░ you have to understand ░░░░░░░░ s a lot of ░░░░░░░░ and money feels good ░░░░░░░░ have and to spend ░░░░░░░░ now I get it ░░░░░░░░ more on Trump s ░░░░░░░░ to Saudi Arabia we ░░░░░░░░ live to our very ░░░░░░░░ Michael Kosta Cheering and ░░░░░░░░ Michael you re embedded ░░░░░░░░ the Trump team how ░░░░░░░░ it going KOSTA Jordan ░░░░░░░░ s going great The ░░░░░░░░ are treating us like ░░░░░░░░ Five star hotels fine ░░░░░░░░ I just used the ░░░░░░░░ and woo hoo I ░░░░░░░░ it was a ba ░░░░░░░░ I don t know ░░░░░░░░ the Saudis get such ░░░░░░░░ bad rap KLEPPER I ░░░░░░░░ because they re an ░░░░░░░░ dictatorship that mistreats women ░░░░░░░░ they did 9 11 ░░░░░░░░ Yeah yeah I was ░░░░░░░░ to ask them some ░░░░░░░░ questions about that And ░░░░░░░░ the free massage started ░░░░░░░░ Jordan whoa Omar used ░░░░░░░░ do interrogations so he ░░░░░░░░ how to get deep ░░░░░░░░ that tissue I usually ░░░░░░░░ t like when men ░░░░░░░░ my body but I ░░░░░░░░ he s not gay ░░░░░░░░ over here that s ░░░░░░░░ crime right That also ░░░░░░░░ me feel a lot ░░░░░░░░ about that happy ending ░░░░░░░░ reacts KLEPPER All right ░░░░░░░░ you know a lot ░░░░░░░░ people think that the ░░░░░░░░ states are just bribing ░░░░░░░░ to get what they ░░░░░░░░ It kind of seems ░░░░░░░░ these bribes might be ░░░░░░░░ KOSTA Whoa Jordan Bribe ░░░░░░░░ on the b word ░░░░░░░░ tch okay These countries ░░░░░░░░ just being good friends ░░░░░░░░ friends sometimes give other ░░░░░░░░ billions of dollars in ░░░░░░░░ and airplanes I mean ░░░░░░░░ got you that bread ░░░░░░░░ for your wedding didn ░░░░░░░░ I KLEPPER No No ░░░░░░░░ didn t give me ░░░░░░░░ You just got sh ░░░░░░░░ faced and tackled my ░░░░░░░░ during the electric slide ░░░░░░░░ Well in my defense ░░░░░░░░ thought her oxygen tank ░░░░░░░░ a bomb The point ░░░░░░░░ maybe the bribes are ░░░░░░░░ good thing If you ░░░░░░░░ Trump to fix the ░░░░░░░░ East he needs some ░░░░░░░░ in the game You ░░░░░░░░ he s going to ░░░░░░░░ this pro bono He ░░░░░░░░ t give a bleep ░░░░░░░░ the guys from U2 ░░░░░░░░ KLEPPER Okay Michael no ░░░░░░░░ is the pathway to ░░░░░░░░ If Trump takes bribes ░░░░░░░░ s going to favor ░░░░░░░░ country in decisions regarding ░░░░░░░░ policy KOSTA Trump s ░░░░░░░░ to take bribes no ░░░░░░░░ what The smart thing ░░░░░░░░ do is make sure ░░░░░░░░ takes bribes from every ░░░░░░░░ Then he ll work ░░░░░░░░ every country and we ░░░░░░░░ all live in harmony ░░░░░░░░ s why I say ░░░░░░░░ you want world peace ░░░░░░░░ got to give Trump ░░░░░░░░ piece You see what ░░░░░░░░ did there I spelled ░░░░░░░░ differently It s clever ░░░░░░░░ s a play on ░░░░░░░░ KLEPPER No yeah I ░░░░░░░░ it I see it ░░░░░░░░ Very clever But this ░░░░░░░░ thing just it just ░░░░░░░░ t feel good KOSTA ░░░░░░░░ then you need to ░░░░░░░░ to Omar because he ░░░░░░░░ make you feel real ░░░░░░░░ Now if you ll ░░░░░░░░ me I m going ░░░░░░░░ use the bidet again ░░░░░░░░ thing s like a ░░░░░░░░ I m practically cleaning ░░░░░░░░ teeth with it Omar ░░░░░░░░ me some towels buddy ░░░░░░░░ Okay, that’s gross.”