Kimmel: The Catholic Version of Ru Paul’s Drag Race Would Determine the Next Pope

KIMMEL Of course the ░░░░░░░░ story on the planet ░░░░░░░░ week is the passing ░░░░░░░░ Pope Francis and speculation ░░░░░░░░ to who will be ░░░░░░░░ the keys to the ░░░░░░░░ The search for a ░░░░░░░░ pope is about to ░░░░░░░░ And no one will ░░░░░░░░ more insufferable this week ░░░░░░░░ your friend who saw ░░░░░░░░ movie Conclave and now ░░░░░░░░ everything about how it ░░░░░░░░ Laughter I ll tell ░░░░░░░░ how it works Over ░░░░░░░░ next few weeks 135 ░░░░░░░░ dressed cardinals will gather ░░░░░░░░ pass judgment on a ░░░░░░░░ of aspiring candidates In ░░░░░░░░ lot of ways it ░░░░░░░░ the Catholic version of ░░░░░░░░ s Drag Race Laughter ░░░░░░░░ won t know for ░░░░░░░░ least a couple of ░░░░░░░░ who will succeed Pope ░░░░░░░░ But this gu to ░░░░░░░░ this is a guy ░░░░░░░░ the top of my ░░░░░░░░ One of the candidates ░░░░░░░░ an Italian cardinal stationed ░░░░░░░░ Jerusalem his name is ░░░░░░░░ Pizzaballa Laughter For a ░░░░░░░░ time only at papa ░░░░░░░░ s the Pizzaballa How ░░░░░░░░ fun would that be ░░░░░░░░ fact if you don ░░░░░░░░ mind I d like ░░░░░░░░ take a minute to ░░░░░░░░ Laughter If you d ░░░░░░░░ your heads Dear Lord ░░░░░░░░ s me Jimmy and ░░░░░░░░ people who got free ░░░░░░░░ to be here Laughter ░░░░░░░░ ask you tonight Lord ░░░░░░░░ for forgiveness or mercy ░░░░░░░░ ask you to make ░░░░░░░░ Pizzaballa our next pope ░░░░░░░░ he qualified Honestly we ░░░░░░░░ no idea Is he ░░░░░░░░ of pizza Also unclear ░░░░░░░░ he round like a ░░░░░░░░ We don t know ░░░░░░░░ his name is so ░░░░░░░░ Please grant his fellow ░░░░░░░░ the strength to give ░░░░░░░░ a Pope Pizzaballa In ░░░░░░░░ name amen Cheering and ░░░░░░░░ And by the way ░░░░░░░░ want to say something ░░░░░░░░ If he does get ░░░░░░░░ gig He can t ░░░░░░░░ that thing where you ░░░░░░░░ a pope name We ░░░░░░░░ t elect a Pizzaballa ░░░░░░░░ then find out he ░░░░░░░░ gonna be Pius the ░░░░░░░░ or something It s ░░░░░░░░ or go home Right ░░░░░░░░ GUILLERMO That s right ░░░░░░░░ yeah!”
(Cheering and Applause)