Kimmel’s ‘Blue-Anon Shaman’: ‘If the Dems Lost, Then Why Are They Still Asking Me for Money?’

KIMMEL Boring I mean ░░░░░░░░ notice how uneventful it ░░░░░░░░ today The Democrats lost ░░░░░░░░ they accepted they lost ░░░░░░░░ were no vegan baristas ░░░░░░░░ the Capitol walls no ░░░░░░░░ was wearing animal horns ░░░░░░░░ one in face paint ░░░░░░░░ himself the Blue Anon ░░░░░░░░ SHAMAN Did someone call ░░░░░░░░ Blue Anon Shaman Laughter ░░░░░░░░ No as a matter ░░░░░░░░ fact I was just ░░░░░░░░ there were no SHAMAN ░░░░░░░░ the steal Stop the ░░░░░░░░ If you do not ░░░░░░░░ will squeal KIMMEL If ░░░░░░░░ do not we will ░░░░░░░░ SHAMAN That s right ░░░░░░░░ re going to squeal ░░░░░░░░ out We re all ░░░░░░░░ to squeal KIMMEL Who ░░░░░░░░ we Because it looks ░░░░░░░░ you re by yourself ░░░░░░░░ there SHAMAN Oh don ░░░░░░░░ you worry The Democrat ░░░░░░░░ is on the way ░░░░░░░░ are plenty of EV ░░░░░░░░ spaces still available for ░░░░░░░░ hybrids Single file Please ░░░░░░░░ your protest placards in ░░░░░░░░ view KIMMEL Okay All ░░░░░░░░ Well thank you very ░░░░░░░░ SHAMAN Oh by the ░░░░░░░░ what are your pronouns ░░░░░░░░ My what SHAMAN Your ░░░░░░░░ pronouns KIMMEL Oh SHAMAN ░░░░░░░░ are they KIMMEL He ░░░░░░░░ him SHAMAN Ew Okay ░░░░░░░░ of rapy Not very ░░░░░░░░ KIMMEL Wait a minute ░░░░░░░░ is the flag you ░░░░░░░░ holding there SHAMAN Oh ░░░░░░░░ KIMMEL Yeah SHAMAN This ░░░░░░░░ just our battle flag ░░░░░░░░ Oh SHAMAN In this ░░░░░░░░ we believe Black Lives ░░░░░░░░ women s rights are ░░░░░░░░ rights climate change is ░░░░░░░░ love is love KIMMEL ░░░░░░░░ That sounds reasonable SHAMAN ░░░░░░░░ is imaginary Gender is ░░░░░░░░ Football is a war ░░░░░░░░ Paw Patrol is cop ░░░░░░░░ ganda Jiffy lube is ░░░░░░░░ patriarchy KIMMEL Okay I ░░░░░░░░ don t understand what ░░░░░░░░ re doing at the ░░░░░░░░ though Donald Trump won ░░░░░░░░ election SHAMAN Come on ░░░░░░░░ don t believe that ░░░░░░░░ you KIMMEL I do ░░░░░░░░ yes It was a ░░░░░░░░ and fair election just ░░░░░░░░ the last one was ░░░░░░░░ he won SHAMAN Nonsense ░░░░░░░░ listen if Trump won ░░░░░░░░ why aren t you ░░░░░░░░ jail KIMMEL I still ░░░░░░░░ 14 days Laughter SHAMAN ░░░░░░░░ right all right Well ░░░░░░░░ the Democrats lost then ░░░░░░░░ are they still asking ░░░░░░░░ for money almost constantly ░░░░░░░░ That s actually a ░░░░░░░░ question I don t ░░░░░░░░ the answer to that ░░░░░░░░ SHAMAN Exactly exactly It ░░░░░░░░ time for action We ░░░░░░░░ taking back the Capitol ░░░░░░░░ Oh man Well you ░░░░░░░░ t say I didn ░░░░░░░░ try Winning isn t ░░░░░░░░ Somebody call my mom ░░░░░░░░ call my mom Squeal ░░░░░░░░ KIMMEL Okay thank you ░░░░░░░░ much.”
(Cheering and Applause)