Kimmel on Pete Hegseth’s Appointment: ‘Hulk Hogan Must Be Devastated’

KIMMEL And then you ░░░░░░░░ Elon Musk throwing his ░░░░░░░░ around He s basically ░░░░░░░░ into Mar a Lago ░░░░░░░░ based on this photograph ░░░░░░░░ posted looks like he ░░░░░░░░ have moved into the ░░░░░░░░ family itself Look at ░░░░░░░░ Clip starts Trump That ░░░░░░░░ great UNKNOWN Why don ░░░░░░░░ Wwe do a family ░░░░░░░░ Trump We have to ░░░░░░░░ Elon with his boy ░░░░░░░░ Absolutely Trump Gorgeous perfect ░░░░░░░░ Clip ends KIMMEL Now ░░░░░░░░ you notice who was ░░░░░░░░ in the photo Melania ░░░░░░░░ not in the photo ░░░░░░░░ Elon was See what ░░░░░░░░ get for a hundred ░░░░░░░░ dollars Meanwhile poor Eric ░░░░░░░░ like Why won t ░░░░░░░░ gate open Someone let ░░░░░░░░ in Laughter It s ░░░░░░░░ like he s goofing ░░░░░░░░ us Trump is expected ░░░░░░░░ name wait till you ░░░░░░░░ this First of all ░░░░░░░░ Dakota Governor Kristi Noem ░░░░░░░░ of homeland security to ░░░░░░░░ our nation safe from ░░░░░░░░ labradoodles I guess Laughter ░░░░░░░░ of his main messages ░░░░░░░░ the campaign was about ░░░░░░░░ the pets They re ░░░░░░░░ the dogs They re ░░░░░░░░ the cats He goes ░░░░░░░░ and hires the woman ░░░░░░░░ shot her puppy Laughter ░░░░░░░░ Noem shouldn t be ░░░░░░░░ charge of a Petsmart ░░░░░░░░ alone Homeland Security We ░░░░░░░░ a new ambassador to ░░░░░░░░ on the way former ░░░░░░░░ governor Mike Huckabee whose ░░░░░░░░ connection to the Jewish ░░░░░░░░ includes a very wicked ░░░░░░░░ of humor Clip starts ░░░░░░░░ Much of America spent ░░░░░░░░ past week shivering through ░░░░░░░░ setting cold thanks to ░░░░░░░░ polar vortex Now ask ░░░░░░░░ how cold was it ░░░░░░░░ How cold was it ░░░░░░░░ It was colder than ░░░░░░░░ stares you get from ░░░░░░░░ if you deny global ░░░░░░░░ That s how cold ░░░░░░░░ was Clip ends KIMMEL ░░░░░░░░ one Mike His audience ░░░░░░░░ like a Cialis commercial ░░░░░░░░ to life Laughter So ░░░░░░░░ will be running point ░░░░░░░░ Israel Trump and we ░░░░░░░░ got this news like ░░░░░░░░ minute ago hired Pete ░░░░░░░░ you know who this ░░░░░░░░ He s the guy ░░░░░░░░ the Fox and Friends ░░░░░░░░ edition to be secretary ░░░░░░░░ defense Audience moans Hulk ░░░░░░░░ must be devastated Laughter ░░░░░░░░ then we have this ░░░░░░░░ who s reported to ░░░░░░░░ Trump s choice for ░░░░░░░░ of state Clip starts ░░░░░░░░ Nothing has frustrated me ░░░░░░░░ than false choices like ░░░░░░░░ one the president laid ░░░░░░░░ tonight Sips water The ░░░░░░░░ isn t just between ░░░░░░░░ government or big business ░░░░░░░░ ends KIMMEL Yeah we ░░░░░░░░ thought that was the ░░░░░░░░ of Sippy Longstocking but ░░░░░░░░ was not Laughter He ░░░░░░░░ going to be secretary ░░░░░░░░ state which is surprising ░░░░░░░░ you consider some of ░░░░░░░░ terrible things Trump has ░░░░░░░░ on the record saying ░░░░░░░░ Marco Rubio Clip starts ░░░░░░░░ I will address little ░░░░░░░░ Little Marco Little Marco ░░░░░░░░ know Marco little Marco ░░░░░░░░ s liddle L I ░░░░░░░░ D L E liddle ░░░░░░░░ couldn t get elected ░░░░░░░░ catcher I call him ░░░░░░░░ I call him lightweight ░░░░░░░░ He s a very ░░░░░░░░ guy He s a ░░░░░░░░ basket case Total lightweight ░░░░░░░░ mouth on him Bing ░░░░░░░░ bing bing bing bing ░░░░░░░░ bing He has really ░░░░░░░░ ears the biggest ears ░░░░░░░░ ve ever seen And ░░░░░░░░ was sweating so badly ░░░░░░░░ have never seen anything ░░░░░░░░ it It looked like ░░░░░░░░ just jumped into a ░░░░░░░░ pool with his clothing ░░░░░░░░ I walked back there ░░░░░░░░ he s with a ░░░░░░░░ of makeup putting it ░░░░░░░░ his face I said ░░░░░░░░ easy with the makeup ░░░░░░░░ problem with Marco he ░░░░░░░░ a choke artist he ░░░░░░░░ It s Rubio Clip ░░░░░░░░ KIMMEL He did everything ░░░░░░░░ give him a swirly ░░░░░░░░ And now he s ░░░░░░░░ to be his secretary ░░░░░░░░ state Which is vintage ░░░░░░░░ You call somebody an ░░░░░░░░ until they kneel down ░░░░░░░░ then you take them ░░░░░░░░ your arms you cradle ░░░░░░░░ like a baby.”