Jon Stewart: Every Line in Trump’s Birthday Card ‘Sounds Like the Password You Use to Get into the Orgy in ‘Eyes Wide Shut’’

EXCERPT:

STEWART: “'Every day is another wonderful secret.' I f**king threw up in my own mouth on that one. I don’t even know what any of that means, but I do know that every line in that card sounds like the password you have to use to get into the orgy in 'Eyes Wide Shut.' Donald: 'We have certain things in common.' Jeffrey: 'Enigmas never age.' 'All right, gentlemen, come on in and grab a mask.' I gotta say, that birthday card, how much must it have sucked to be the next guy in the office that had to sign that Epstein birthday card. 'You want me to just — you want me to sign it right by the pubic hair or just by the little titties? What do you want? I’m just going to write, 'Here’s to 50 more.'”