Kimmel on News Suggesting Easter Potatoes Instead of Eggs: ‘Is Anyone Else Tired of All the Winning Yet?’

EXCERPT:

KIMMEL: "Hold on a second. There’s something I have to say about this. Listen, Jesus did not come back from the dead for potatoes or marshmallows. He came back for boiled eggs. Okay? No eggs, no resurrection, that’s the deal. That is the covenant we made with the Lord, and we’re going to stick to it. Is anyone else tired of all the winning yet?

(Laughter)

Having to dye potatoes because we can't afford eggs is the reason our grandparents left the old country.

(Laughter)

You know what you can do if you can’t buy eggs? Here’s a suggestion, a good suggestion. Just tell the kids you hid the eggs really, really well this year. When they don’t find any, it’s on them. Or just dye a sack of onions or something. The prices that Donald Trump promised to bring down on day one are still going up."