Steve Martin Proclaims He’s SNL’s ‘Newest Diversity Hire,’ Orders ICE Agents to Deport Martin Short Who’s Canadian

‘I was actually vacationing on a friend’s boat down in the Gulf of Steve Martin’

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    EXCERPT:

    MARTIN: "Thank you. Good evening. And welcome to the 50th anniversary of 'Saturday Night Live.' I’m Steve Martin, 'Saturday Night Live’s newest diversity hire. And what a thrill it is to be here. When I heard that 'SNL' wanted to do an anniversary special, I literally wanted to leap into the air. And the only reason I didn’t is because at the time I was wearing a short skirt with no underwear.

    (Laughter)

    Now, I can’t believe — I can’t believe I even made it here in time. It was only a few days ago that Lorne told me I was doing the monologue, and I was actually vacationing on a friend’s boat down in the Gulf of Steve Martin. And I finally — 

    (Laughter)

    It took me a while to get here, but I did.”

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