Colbert to David Pecker’s Mistresses Story for Ted Cruz: Make it Realistic Like Cruz Getting ‘Caught Dumpster Diving for New Beard’

EXCERPT:

COLBERT: “But covering up for Trump’s affairs was just the tip of the Pecker. He used the National Enquirer to go after Trump’s campaign rivals with headlines like, 'It’s over for pervy Ted. Cruz’s five secret mistresses!' That is shocking. Also, completely unbelievable. If you’re going to make up lies, about Ted Cruz, keep them realistic, like, 'Ted Cruz caught dumpster diving for new beard.'"