Dulce Sloan Takes up Trump’s Post, Volunteers to Tell Barron Trump His Dad Won’t Be Able to Attend Graduation: ‘Pick Me’

EXCERPT:

SLOAN: "You want someone to explain to your son for you why you can’t be at his graduation? Pick me! Pick me! Pick me! Pick me! Me, me, me, me! 
(Cheering and Applause)
Listen, no problem! No problem! I — I will do it! 
(Cheering and Applause)
Hi, Barron, it’s your Auntie Dulcé. Bad news, bubba. Daddy can’t come to your graduation because he banged a porn star.”