Kimmel Mocks Trump’s Gettysburg Story: ‘That Was Easily the Funniest Seizure I’ve Ever Seen’

EXCERPT:

KIMMEL: “Well, that was easily the funniest seizure I’ve ever seen. He always sounds like a kid who forgot he had an oral report due on that day. More than 50,000 Americans killed each other over three days at Gettysburg, so I’m not exactly sure of what he meant by 'beautiful,' but let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and let's go through his actual words. Guillermo, bring out the chalk board, if you would. Now, we have a transcript of what our former president said, and I’ll just go through it. Thank you, Guillermo.”

DIAZ: "You’re welcome."

KIMMEL: "Here we go. 'Gettysburg, what an unbelievable battle that was. The battle of Gettysburg. What an unbelievable. I mean, it was so much and so interesting and so vicious and horrible, and so beautiful in so many different ways. It — it represented such a big portion of the success of this country. Gettysburg, wow. I go to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, to look and to watch. And, uh, the statement of Robert E. Lee, who’s no longer in favor — did you ever notice that? No longer in favor. ’Never fight uphill, me boys. Never fight uphill.’ They were fighting uphill. He said, ’Wow, that was a big mistake.’ He lost his great general. And, uh, they were fighting. ’Never fight uphill, me boys!’ But it was too late.'

(Applause)

When you see it written out, it makes a lot more sense.”