Stewart: ‘Good News’ Ted Cruz Couldn’t Make the Show

STEWART: "Hello, everybody! Welcome to "The Daily Show"! My name is Jon Stewart! We've got! I can't believe it! It's "The Daily Show"! Here's the good news, my guest tonight was going to be Texas Republican senator Ted Cruz! Guess what? He didn't make it! Apparently, he had to be in the Senate to vote on some -- (bleep). So he couldn't make it! So we call him, now -- here's the thing, typically, if somebody cancels at the last minute, you think, I'll never get anybody interesting to talk to. I'm just going to see this guy runs a Subway sandwich shop, I go in there and I will be, like, what is that smell? He would be, like, bread, and then we also have the horse carriage over there. So whenever I walk into the building, the two odors generally come together at the door -- "