Suicide Survivor: We Need To Recognize Suicidal Thoughts Don’t Own Us or Define Us
RUSH EXCERPT:
MacCALLUM: "Kevin Heinz jumped off the golden state bridge and survived. It was the worst and the best day of his life. He said the minute he jumped he deeply regretted what he had done. And he says a vast majority of survivors say the same thing. He is on a mission to stop and to save as many people as he can. He joins us in a moment with his important story. It comes during a shocking week as we have lost two bright lights. Designer Kate spade at 55. And celebrity chef and author and TV host Anthony bourdain at the age of 61. A new report from the C.D.C. Shows suicide rates went up 29% since 1999. Here now to share his story with us is Kevin Heinz. Kevin, good evening. Thank you forking for being here. You jumped and yet you survived. How?"
HINES: "I did. I attempted to take my life in a way that is 99% fatal. Over 3,000 people have likely died off the golden gate bridge. I’m one of 36 who have been given the gift of a second chance to survive. I believe suicide is the same thing as lethal, emotional pain. A pain so great that leaves you believe you are worthless, less than and have no value and you are a burden to those you love you. Those are all false. You are beautiful, you are enough, you matter. But some people don’t recognize inside the pain."
MacCALLUM: "The most important messages you could tell anybody who is feeling the kind of things that you are feeling. Tell everybody at home what happened, that intervened in your attempt to take your own life that left you able to stand here today and talk to so many others."
HINES: "Of the 36 survivors. Five of us have regained full mobility. The ability to walk, run and stride. That is a gift in itself. I can tell you when I attempted to take my life, the milliseconds my hand left the rail, it was instant regret. Thousands of people say the minute after they made the attempt all they wanted to do is live. People don’t recognize thoughts don’t have to be actions. If we recognize our thoughts don’t own us or define us. We can stay here. I live with suicidal thoughts. They plague me. But I will not die that way. Because when they occur I will turn to the next person and say “I need help now.” I will survive the pain. But given that I attempted and what saved me in the water I flailed to stay afloat and I couldn’t stay above water. A sea lion came to my aid and bumped me up until the coast guard boat arrived behind me. That is my miracle. I got to live here because a creature saw me in danger and acted immediately. That is my guardian angel who saved me that day. With the coast guard who pulled me from the doctor and the back doctor that gave me the ability to walk and run and stand."
MacCALLUM: "I know you said he wasn’t supposed to be on that day and he was. You had a confluence of events that saved you. I love the sea lion part of the story. I can imagine him coming up under the water to bolster you in the moment when you needed it so much. So many are feeling so much from what happened this week with Kate spade and Anthony bourdain. What do you say to them about how to respond to that when we don’t know the person."
HINES: "We know of them. We are obsessed with the celebrity in this culture too much. When someone in this high pro file like Anthony and Kate dies by their hands, it sends a ripple effect around the world of immeasurable pain. When we allow that to damage the children we have a problem. I’m so sorry to their family and friends. Chris Pernell, Chester benningham family and friend. We loved them and we love the work they did. Because we have so closely tied to the work they did and how the work affected us it becomes personal. At least emotionally it does. All the people watching now who are in crisis and in that pain and are suicidal, there are millions of you around the world. This is what I have to say. Contact the crisis tech line. Text C.N.Q.R. To 741741. Right now if you are in crisis. They will be with you in seconds to minutes. Cnqr to 741741. That is important. It stands for conquer. Conquer your pain. You can defeat the pain. You the live with the pain and thrive today. You have to recognize your value. How much you matter to people around you and how much you should matter to you and your life means something. It’s not to ever meant to die by suicide. You are meant to live the life, fight the pain and thrive and give back to this world somehow."
