Karol Markowicz: Being a Stay-at-Home Mom Today Is a Luxury

KOOIMAN: “There are more than 5 million stay-at-home moms in the United States today. One of them is telling the world, ‘Being home with the kids is no luxury.’ A New York Times op-ed by Allison Carter says, ‘’Luxury’ is a loaded word. Yes, it is absolutely true that my husband and I are lucky that he has been able to secure and keep a job that can pay for us all. But a luxury is a nonessential item. An indulgence. What I do is essential.’ Our next guest freelance writer and mother Karol Markowicz disagrees and here to debate her from the moms is Melissa Gerstein. Good morning. Thanks for being with us, guys.”
GERSTEIN: “Good morning!” 
KOOIMAN: “First, Melissa, you think this is a loaded phrase even to say that stay-at-home is a luxury.”
GERSTEIN: “A 100 percent. All mothers are working mothers. Let’s get that clear. OK. I think luxury are indulgences. It’s designer clothing, it’s second homes, it’s vacations. Those are luxuries. And staying at home is a personal choice. It’s a personal choice within your family with your financial means.  It’s not a luxury at all. “
KOOIMAN: “Is this kind of just a way that you decide to read and interpret this statement?”
MARKOWICZ: “You know, the luxury here is not the material items that you have. The luxury is having the choice to have those items. And in this case, the luxury is deciding. I would like to stay and home with my children. That’s a decision and a choice that many many women don’t have. Study after study shows it’s usually the poor or the rich who get the option of being a stay-at-home mum. Generally the middle class doesn’t get to say, ‘Oh, I’d like to stay home with my kids.’ You can’t. Your household depends on two incomes. So the luxury is having the option.”
KOOIMAN: “Melissa, do you feel like this is more of a just problem that stay-at-home moms look almost like second class citizens to some people? Is that part of what you [indecipherable]?”
GERSTEIN: “No. I think it’s a choice. It’s a choice within your family. I think it’s a choice within your means. I also think that when you are at home, you’re working nonstop. You’re running a household.”
KOOIMAN: “Of course!”
GERSTEIN: “And maybe if a working mother maybe also wants to stay at home, yes, choice sometimes is — or the luxury can be a choice. Yes, I understand that. But I also think maybe the stay at home mom wants to go to work, too. Everyone has a different situation, a different scenario. I think the bottom line is we’re all just trying to raise great citizens for the future. We all need to support each other and stop throwing words around about the luxury of staying at home — the working mom and the workforce and the stay at home mom. All of these words are just so silly. The bottom line we are  all just trying to make it through the day without dropping the baby.”
KOOIMAN: “Exactly."
GERSTEIN: “I mean, really."
KOOIMAN: “We started this story earlier today and we’ve got a lot of feedback from our viewers on that. I want to read a few of those. Lisa on Facebook says -- let's get your reaction, Carol. She says, 'Not a luxury but it is an incredible option if available to an individual. It is beneficial to children to have a stay-at-home parent.' Of course, right?”
MARKOWICZ: “Right. Stay-at-home parents are used to being maligned. It’s not Hillary Clinton talking about that they stay home, they bake cookies and have teas. Or Ann Romney being told that she never worked a day in her life. So they’re very defensive and I understand that. It just that the defensiveness is unfortunate because the truth is, they do have some think that many people don’t have and that's the choice to be with their children. So while I understand that you hear that being a stay at home mom is a luxury -- no. it’s not a luxury. I work hard. Nobody is saying that they don’t. I’ve been, I have been work-outside-home mom, I have been a work-at-home mom - none of them are easy. But the truth remains that being a stay-at-home mom is a luxury in our current, you know, modern daytimes. And they should appreciate that.”
KOOIMAN: “Yeah.”
GERSTEIN: “But I’m going disagree with it, because you know what? A happy home is a happy mom. OK. And if mom likes going to work every day maybe that’s a luxury for the mom.”