Colbert: Mueller Is Planning Trump’s Surprise Party

RUSH TRANSCRIPT:
COLBERT: "But Trump's not worried. He's not sweating this one. That's why, yesterday, he called a "New York Times" reporter to project an air of calm over the charges. "Hello, failing 'New York Times,' I just wanted you to know that I'm not at all worried about the thing that I called you up to tell you that I'm not even thinking about. I don't know why you called me to talk about it." Adding -- and this is true -- "I'm not under investigation, as you know ." Yeah, they're just rounding up all your friends and family and asking them questions about you. Maybe Robert Mueller's planning you a surprise party. They're going to give you an orange jumpsuit and a new pair of bracelets."