Ocasio-Cortez at SXSW Likens America Today to ‘Garbage’

GRAY So so the ░░░░░░░░ is for anybody who ░░░░░░░░ t hear how do ░░░░░░░░ talk to people with ░░░░░░░░ kind of different beliefs ░░░░░░░░ racism and and feminism ░░░░░░░░ and broader political beliefs ░░░░░░░░ Cortez So the way ░░░░░░░░ have conversations with people ░░░░░░░░ opposing beliefs is I ░░░░░░░░ t try to convince ░░░░░░░░ of anything So that ░░░░░░░░ the first thing Stop ░░░░░░░░ to win people over ░░░░░░░░ trying to enter a ░░░░░░░░ thinking that you re ░░░░░░░░ to like aha them ░░░░░░░░ changing their minds And ░░░░░░░░ I think that you ░░░░░░░░ we ve kind of ░░░░░░░░ the art of conversation ░░░░░░░░ when I enter a ░░░░░░░░ with someone I actually ░░░░░░░░ to learn more about ░░░░░░░░ they re coming from ░░░░░░░░ I try I actually ░░░░░░░░ it as an experience ░░░░░░░░ like let s say ░░░░░░░░ m talking to someone ░░░░░░░░ s saying something really ░░░░░░░░ and they don t ░░░░░░░░ realize that they re ░░░░░░░░ something really racist I ░░░░░░░░ asked some questions because ░░░░░░░░ m interested I m ░░░░░░░░ by that How does ░░░░░░░░ work You know But ░░░░░░░░ and so I don ░░░░░░░░ do it in a ░░░░░░░░ that s like mocking ░░░░░░░░ I I ask questions ░░░░░░░░ kind of dig like ░░░░░░░░ know when someone says ░░░░░░░░ this isn t racist ░░░░░░░░ But you have to ░░░░░░░░ have to learn to ░░░░░░░░ really disarm ourselves in ░░░░░░░░ conversations first of all ░░░░░░░░ we approach them with ░░░░░░░░ much hostility and like ░░░░░░░░ get mad and we ░░░░░░░░ mad and all of ░░░░░░░░ things and and we ░░░░░░░░ so part of it ░░░░░░░░ like emotional work And ░░░░░░░░ the second part of ░░░░░░░░ is intention like what ░░░░░░░░ you trying to get ░░░░░░░░ of this conversation And ░░░░░░░░ you re just trying ░░░░░░░░ argue with someone it ░░░░░░░░ it s going to ░░░░░░░░ s not going to ░░░░░░░░ You know you believe ░░░░░░░░ you believe they believe ░░░░░░░░ they believe So I ░░░░░░░░ the thing that we ░░░░░░░░ to do is try ░░░░░░░░ have a good faith ░░░░░░░░ of trying to learn ░░░░░░░░ about where the other ░░░░░░░░ comes from Because often ░░░░░░░░ I find is that ░░░░░░░░ I do win people ░░░░░░░░ it s almost never ░░░░░░░░ the conversation itself that ░░░░░░░░ won someone over is ░░░░░░░░ I have a conversation ░░░░░░░░ someone I asked them ░░░░░░░░ critical questions and I ░░░░░░░░ like I pretty calmly ░░░░░░░░ to them well this ░░░░░░░░ where I m coming ░░░░░░░░ and this is why ░░░░░░░░ believe what I believe ░░░░░░░░ do you believe what ░░░░░░░░ believe And you kind ░░░░░░░░ like leave the conversation ░░░░░░░░ very often that person ░░░░░░░░ sit on what you ░░░░░░░░ and they will sit ░░░░░░░░ the fact that you ░░░░░░░░ them and gave them ░░░░░░░░ And then very often ░░░░░░░░ ve had interactions like ░░░░░░░░ and I ll run ░░░░░░░░ that person again a ░░░░░░░░ later a month later ░░░░░░░░ cetera And they said ░░░░░░░░ know what You said ░░░░░░░░ that I really thought ░░░░░░░░ and I changed my ░░░░░░░░ But conversely no one ░░░░░░░░ changes their mind in ░░░░░░░░ actual a queue situation ░░░░░░░░ a conversation It s ░░░░░░░░ afterwards when it kind ░░░░░░░░ sits with them But ░░░░░░░░ you rush in you ░░░░░░░░ fully armored at attacking ░░░░░░░░ and making them feel ░░░░░░░░ they will never listen ░░░░░░░░ anything that you have ░░░░░░░░ say So it s ░░░░░░░░ about learning how how ░░░░░░░░ can have a conversation ░░░░░░░░ and also there s ░░░░░░░░ really important conversation about ░░░░░░░░ faith and bad faith ░░░░░░░░ And when I sense ░░░░░░░░ someone is engaging in ░░░░░░░░ in bad faith I ░░░░░░░░ don t engage in ░░░░░░░░ conversation at all it ░░░░░░░░ not worth my time ░░░░░░░░ my energy If someone ░░░░░░░░ trying to put you ░░░░░░░░ or belittle you or ░░░░░░░░ a conversation as though ░░░░░░░░ are more intelligent than ░░░░░░░░ because like oh no ░░░░░░░░ s no way that ░░░░░░░░ can disagree with me ░░░░░░░░ still be smart You ░░░░░░░░ there s just like ░░░░░░░░ know there s this ░░░░░░░░ condescending tone that that ░░░░░░░░ have in a lot ░░░░░░░░ our conversations And I ░░░░░░░░ I think it s ░░░░░░░░ to really approach those ░░░░░░░░ of disagreements with a ░░░░░░░░ of compassion because when ░░░░░░░░ see that you know ░░░░░░░░ really look at not ░░░░░░░░ the logic of your ░░░░░░░░ but how you make ░░░░░░░░ feel as much as ░░░░░░░░ hate to say that ░░░░░░░░ admitted, it’s true.”