Stewart Says Authoritarian Regimes ‘Test People by Pushing Limits of Absurdity’ Then Plays Video About Trump’s ‘Excellent Physical Health’

STEWART But you know ░░░░░░░░ filled with real gold ░░░░░░░░ are nothing if those ░░░░░░░░ aren t also filled ░░░░░░░░ echoes of the most ░░░░░░░░ sycophantic hosannas One clip ░░░░░░░░ knows the rules Clip ░░░░░░░░ BURGUM Thank you for ░░░░░░░░ leadership and thank you ░░░░░░░░ everything you re doing ░░░░░░░░ I want to thank ░░░░░░░░ for standing up to ░░░░░░░░ Chinese Communist Party DUFFY ░░░░░░░░ want to thank you ░░░░░░░░ well for the shipbuilding ░░░░░░░░ Your vision is a ░░░░░░░░ point and an inflection ░░░░░░░░ in American history NOEM ░░░░░░░░ leadership at the border ░░░░░░░░ remarkable Rubio What you ░░░░░░░░ doing now I think ░░░░░░░░ a great service to ░░░░░░░░ country but ultimately to ░░░░░░░░ world BONDI You were ░░░░░░░░ elected by the biggest ░░░░░░░░ Clip starts Audience reacts ░░░░░░░░ You know what I ░░░░░░░░ to God guys what ░░░░░░░░ she know She is ░░░░░░░░ attorney general She doesn ░░░░░░░░ know bleep When I ░░░░░░░░ those cabinet meetings I ░░░░░░░░ think are they making ░░░░░░░░ of him It is ░░░░░░░░ over the top Mr ░░░░░░░░ thank you so much ░░░░░░░░ d ck is so ░░░░░░░░ Your d ck is ░░░░░░░░ big We can barely ░░░░░░░░ it because it s ░░░░░░░░ in real gold not ░░░░░░░░ paint Real gold Cheering ░░░░░░░░ Applause But you know ░░░░░░░░ run of the mill ░░░░░░░░ can get the praises ░░░░░░░░ those that fear him ░░░░░░░░ OGs the real autocrats ░░░░░░░░ something much much weirder ░░░░░░░░ humiliating the forced uncomfortable ░░░░░░░░ Clip starts Speaking in ░░░░░░░░ Clip ends STEWART Laughs ░░░░░░░░ had a hat on ░░░░░░░░ then he put the ░░░░░░░░ hat on It s ░░░░░░░░ same hat but still ░░░░░░░░ s on the North ░░░░░░░░ website Funny Or You ░░░░░░░░ And as America s ░░░░░░░░ leader Donald Trump also ░░░░░░░░ a tight five Clip ░░░░░░░░ DUFFY We re pulling ░░░░░░░░ that out and putting ░░░░░░░░ money toward the infrastructure ░░░░░░░░ the the social movement ░░░░░░░░ the last administration Trump ░░░░░░░░ steel right as opposed ░░░░░░░░ green paper mache Laughter ░░░░░░░░ thanks Great job Clip ░░░░░░░░ Audience reacts Laughter STEWART ░░░░░░░░ made no bleep sense ░░░░░░░░ Nothing It didn t ░░░░░░░░ sense to me But ░░░░░░░░ are all laughing though ░░░░░░░░ a hat on Put ░░░░░░░░ hat on It s ░░░░░░░░ so bleep weird But ░░░░░░░░ key to the authoritarian ░░░░░░░░ is the suspension of ░░░░░░░░ normal processes by which ░░░░░░░░ understand the world the ░░░░░░░░ by which data and ░░░░░░░░ experiences paint a cohesive ░░░░░░░░ picture of reality The ░░░░░░░░ card of an authoritarian ░░░░░░░░ is that you must ░░░░░░░░ that reality that rationality ░░░░░░░░ then you test people ░░░░░░░░ pushing the limits of ░░░░░░░░ absurdity Clip starts CORKE ░░░░░░░░ White House released the ░░░░░░░░ of President Trump s ░░░░░░░░ exam His doctors say ░░░░░░░░ Trump exhibits excellent physical ░░░░░░░░ Reporter The report says ░░░░░░░░ s 6 3 224 ░░░░░░░░ Clip ends Laughter STEWART ░░░░░░░░ I m going to ░░░░░░░░ no to either of ░░░░░░░░ numbers I don t ░░░░░░░░ to be that guy ░░░░░░░░ he has a front ░░░░░░░░ I mean we all ░░░░░░░░ there It s fine ░░░░░░░░ can have it But ░░░░░░░░ s with the He ░░░░░░░░ forged by Hephaestus No ░░░░░░░░ the way the medical ░░░░░░░░ did not only confirm ░░░░░░░░ Trump is physically perfect ░░░░░░░░ brain is also totally ░░░░░░░░ Clip starts Trump I ░░░░░░░░ a cognitive test And ░░░░░░░░ don t know what ░░░░░░░░ tell you other than ░░░░░░░░ got every answer right ░░░░░░░░ Can you tell us ░░░░░░░░ the cognitive test Is ░░░░░░░░ man woman person camera ░░░░░░░░ Trump It s a ░░░░░░░░ I think it s ░░░░░░░░ pretty well known test ░░░░░░░░ it is I got ░░░░░░░░ one I got it ░░░░░░░░ right Clip ends STEWART ░░░░░░░░ think we all know ░░░░░░░░ cognitive test we re ░░░░░░░░ about But I would ░░░░░░░░ do you know if ░░░░░░░░ know what cognitive test ░░░░░░░░ s just bullshit I ░░░░░░░░ a cognitive test about ░░░░░░░░ memory What was it ░░░░░░░░ test Trump is such ░░░░░░░░ medical marvel What s ░░░░░░░░ secret to his good ░░░░░░░░ and youthful appearance Clip ░░░░░░░░ SIEGEL Sense of humor ░░░░░░░░ stress that he has ░░░░░░░░ that knows the president ░░░░░░░░ how funny he is ░░░░░░░░ decreases stress Clip ends ░░░░░░░░ Does it Sense of ░░░░░░░░ decreases stress and keeps ░░░░░░░░ young looking Is that ░░░░░░░░ I hear you say ░░░░░░░░ and Applause May I ░░░░░░░░ I may just for ░░░░░░░░ offer the counter argument ░░░░░░░░ I look less stressed ░░░░░░░░ don t look I ░░░░░░░░ hideous But you know ░░░░░░░░ he s got a ░░░░░░░░ sense of humor and ░░░░░░░░ s in pretty good ░░░░░░░░ may work for your ░░░░░░░░ of the mill authoritarians ░░░░░░░░ Lukashenkos your Maduros Surely ░░░░░░░░ is above that c ░░░░░░░░ Clip starts CARDONE Donald ░░░░░░░░ is a genius Kelly ░░░░░░░░ different in the best ░░░░░░░░ way Jordan The president ░░░░░░░░ an athlete s mindset ░░░░░░░░ Accessible freewheeling refreshing Reporter ░░░░░░░░ is like Christmas everyday ░░░░░░░░ President Trump THIESSEN He ░░░░░░░░ like that Marvel super ░░░░░░░░ GINGRICH A mythic figure ░░░░░░░░ like the various Scandinavian ░░░░░░░░ Clip ends STEWART I ░░░░░░░░ obviously not a scholar ░░░░░░░░ viking lore I don ░░░░░░░░ remember there being beowulfs ░░░░░░░░ t it also then ░░░░░░░░ beo wolves But those ░░░░░░░░ all still just reaching ░░░░░░░░ superlatives is there anyone ░░░░░░░░ who wants to place ░░░░░░░░ not on Mount Rushmore ░░░░░░░░ maybe Mount Sinai?”