TDS’ Klepper: ‘The Only One Transparent About DOGE Is Elon’s Skin’

KLEPPER Wow You see ░░░░░░░░ this guy s a ░░░░░░░░ You don t want ░░░░░░░░ unelected bureaucrat running the ░░░░░░░░ It makes a lot ░░░░░░░░ sense No questions here ░░░░░░░░ do have one question ░░░░░░░░ Isn t that you ░░░░░░░░ and Applause Am I ░░░░░░░░ crazy Because it feels ░░░░░░░░ I m watching Drake ░░░░░░░░ Not Like Us at ░░░░░░░░ Like does he not ░░░░░░░░ Is having this one ░░░░░░░░ bureaucrat in charge better ░░░░░░░░ having those other unaccountable ░░░░░░░░ in charge Because at ░░░░░░░░ the others have to ░░░░░░░░ transparency laws The only ░░░░░░░░ transparent about DOGE is ░░░░░░░░ s skin I mean ░░░░░░░░ financial disclosure is being ░░░░░░░░ secret DOGE is exempt ░░░░░░░░ open records laws and ░░░░░░░░ someone on Twitter merely ░░░░░░░░ some of the people ░░░░░░░░ work for DOGE Elon ░░░░░░░░ their account and said ░░░░░░░░ have committed a crime ░░░░░░░░ we tried to fact ░░░░░░░░ with career officials at ░░░░░░░░ FBI but they re ░░░░░░░░ working at a Panera ░░░░░░░░ So Elon I ve ░░░░░░░░ tell you I don ░░░░░░░░ think you re being ░░░░░░░░ transparent Clip starts Musk ░░░░░░░░ all of our actions ░░░░░░░░ maximally transparent In fact ░░░░░░░░ don t think there ░░░░░░░░ been I don t ░░░░░░░░ of a case where ░░░░░░░░ organization has been more ░░░░░░░░ than the DOGE organization ░░░░░░░░ I fully expect to ░░░░░░░░ scrutinized and get you ░░░░░░░░ a daily proctology exam ░░░░░░░░ ends KLEPPER OH Well ░░░░░░░░ did the exam and ░░░░░░░░ an assh le Cheering ░░░░░░░░ Applause You know what ░░░░░░░░ don t want to ░░░░░░░░ you a proctology exam ░░░░░░░░ just want to know ░░░░░░░░ you re doing Because ░░░░░░░░ advantage of federal bureaucrats ░░░░░░░░ that they can t ░░░░░░░░ conflicts of interest whereas ░░░░░░░░ seem to have every ░░░░░░░░ of interest SpaceX has ░░░░░░░░ contracts Tesla is under ░░░░░░░░ oversight X is under ░░░░░░░░ investigation And his hair ░░░░░░░░ are being investigated by ░░░░░░░░ Department of No one ░░░░░░░░ buying this You are ░░░░░░░░ a walking conflict of ░░░░░░░░ Is that not a ░░░░░░░░ bleep problem Clip starts ░░░░░░░░ Well all of our ░░░░░░░░ are are fully public ░░░░░░░░ if you see anything ░░░░░░░░ say like Wait a ░░░░░░░░ Hey Elon that doesn ░░░░░░░░ that seems like maybe ░░░░░░░░ s you know there ░░░░░░░░ a conflict there It ░░░░░░░░ not like people are ░░░░░░░░ to be shy about ░░░░░░░░ that They ll say ░░░░░░░░ immediately you know Clip ░░░░░░░░ KLEPPER Oh good Okay ░░░░░░░░ we see a conflict ░░░░░░░░ just need to say ░░░░░░░░ Hey Elon I notice ░░░░░░░░ conflict Cheering and Applause ░░░░░░░░ that work No No ░░░░░░░░ happened There s no ░░░░░░░░ and nothing matters Great ░░░░░░░░ system Well bleep it ░░░░░░░░ s not going to ░░░░░░░░ transparent and he s ░░░░░░░░ with conflicts of interest ░░░░░░░░ at least he s ░░░░░░░░ genius And the work ░░░░░░░░ s going to do ░░░░░░░░ be flawless Clip starts ░░░░░░░░ Mr Musk you said ░░░░░░░░ X that an example ░░░░░░░░ the fraud that you ░░░░░░░░ cited was 50 million ░░░░░░░░ condoms was sent to ░░░░░░░░ How can we make ░░░░░░░░ that all the statements ░░░░░░░░ you said were correct ░░░░░░░░ we can trust what ░░░░░░░░ say Musk Well first ░░░░░░░░ all some of the ░░░░░░░░ that I say will ░░░░░░░░ incorrect and should be ░░░░░░░░ So nobody s going ░░░░░░░░ bat 1 000 Clip ░░░░░░░░ KLEPPER Nobody s going ░░░░░░░░ bat 1 000 You ░░░░░░░░ up a 50 million ░░░░░░░░ of sending condoms to ░░░░░░░░ You re not grounding ░░░░░░░░ to third You re ░░░░░░░░ into the umpire s ░░░░░░░░ And just for the ░░░░░░░░ of course the United ░░░░░░░░ didn t send 50 ░░░░░░░░ worth of condoms to ░░░░░░░░ We sent 5 million ░░░░░░░░ vibrating sex swings to ░░░░░░░░ Korea and I believe ░░░░░░░░ stopped nuclear war But ░░░░░░░░ t quote me on ░░░░░░░░ I m not going ░░░░░░░░ bat 1 000 So ░░░░░░░░ summarize he s not ░░░░░░░░ he has tons of ░░░░░░░░ he believes any lie ░░░░░░░░ hears and he spreads ░░░░░░░░ rumors that go global ░░░░░░░░ I d be pretty ░░░░░░░░ at him right now ░░░░░░░░ he didn t have ░░░░░░░░ much gosh darn charisma ░░░░░░░░ starts Musk So um ░░░░░░░░ know there s crazy ░░░░░░░░ Like just cursory examination ░░░░░░░░ Social Security and we ░░░░░░░░ got people in there ░░░░░░░░ are 150 years old ░░░░░░░░ do you know anyone ░░░░░░░░ s 150 I don ░░░░░░░░ Okay They should be ░░░░░░░░ the Guinness Book of ░░░░░░░░ Records They re missing ░░░░░░░░ Um so Clip ends ░░░░░░░░ Tough crowd Tough crowd ░░░░░░░░ this thing on Is ░░░░░░░░ thing on Anyone here ░░░░░░░░ Washington D C Oh ░░░░░░░░ re all from Washington ░░░░░░░░ C Ahh Look if ░░░░░░░░ want to see more ░░░░░░░░ that kind of comedy ░░░░░░░░ don t worry because ░░░░░░░░ s a new special ░░░░░░░░ out that s just ░░░░░░░░ you Clip starts ANNOUNCER ░░░░░░░░ from the Oval Office ░░░░░░░░ is the Musk see ░░░░░░░░ special that will have ░░░░░░░░ DOGE ing in your ░░░░░░░░ It is Elon Musk ░░░░░░░░ igarch Musk Now do ░░░░░░░░ know anyone who s ░░░░░░░░ I don t Okay ░░░░░░░░ should be on the ░░░░░░░░ Book of World Records ░░░░░░░░ re missing out ANNOUNCER ░░░░░░░░ snap He is the ░░░░░░░░ of comedy Musk I ░░░░░░░░ detractors Reporter You do ░░░░░░░░ ANNOUNCER You will want ░░░░░░░░ Neuralink these jokes straight ░░░░░░░░ your brainstem Featuring an ░░░░░░░░ act by the balding ░░░░░░░░ Order now and you ░░░░░░░░ get even more of ░░░░░░░░ s most hilarious bits ░░░░░░░░ Blackmail with money Go ░░░░░░░░ yourself ANNOUNCER The one ░░░░░░░░ he s not cutting ░░░░░░░░ the laughs Musk Laughs ░░░░░░░░ am aspirationally you know ░░░░░░░░ funny So um yeah ░░░░░░░░ Sponsored by DOGE DOGE ░░░░░░░░ use the HIV prevention ░░░░░░░░ to pay for this ░░░░░░░░ ends]