TDS Anchors Try to Comfort America: ‘I’m in a Deep Pit of Despair,’ ‘Just Look into Your Heart and Take out Your Foreign Passport... ‘

LYDIC He s a ░░░░░░░░ he s a fascist ░░░░░░░░ s a malignant narcissist ░░░░░░░░ blood type if fryer ░░░░░░░░ Laughter But it s ░░░░░░░░ clear that America is ░░░░░░░░ one that needs the ░░░░░░░░ because whatever s wrong ░░░░░░░░ him we bleep love ░░░░░░░░ In this moment Donald ░░░░░░░░ is holding up a ░░░░░░░░ to the American people ░░░░░░░░ it might be time ░░░░░░░░ take a good bleep ░░░░░░░░ look And I m ░░░░░░░░ I m sorry I ░░░░░░░░ myself that this show ░░░░░░░░ be uplifting tonight and ░░░░░░░░ people hope and inspiration ░░░░░░░░ unfortunately I m too ░░░░░░░░ and quite frankly very ░░░░░░░░ hungover Cheering and Applause ░░░░░░░░ you know what I ░░░░░░░░ say it s times ░░░░░░░░ these when I can ░░░░░░░░ on the wisdom and ░░░░░░░░ and the vision of ░░░░░░░░ best bleep News team ░░░░░░░░ the world Cheering and ░░░░░░░░ They re out across ░░░░░░░░ country right now so ░░░░░░░░ s go out to ░░░░░░░░ We ll start with ░░░░░░░░ Iwata Troy it s ░░░░░░░░ to you Cheering and ░░░░░░░░ Please give us something ░░░░░░░░ s hear some optimism ░░░░░░░░ hope to lift our ░░░░░░░░ IWATA Lift lift spirits ░░░░░░░░ thought I was reporting ░░░░░░░░ Senate results LYDIC No ░░░░░░░░ we don t t ░░░░░░░░ that right now We ░░░░░░░░ someone to find the ░░░░░░░░ words to explain to ░░░░░░░░ that everything is going ░░░░░░░░ be okay So go ░░░░░░░░ Okay Don t put ░░░░░░░░ on me I can ░░░░░░░░ help anyone I can ░░░░░░░░ help myself I m ░░░░░░░░ a deep pit of ░░░░░░░░ Don t look at ░░░░░░░░ I m still wearing ░░░░░░░░ s s bowtie I ░░░░░░░░ a mess Go ask ░░░░░░░░ he s been here ░░░░░░░░ LYDIC Okay Okay Michael ░░░░░░░░ let s go to ░░░░░░░░ Cheering and Applause Say ░░░░░░░░ that will single handedly ░░░░░░░░ us with joy KOSTA ░░░░░░░░ Pass Laughter I pass ░░░░░░░░ that That is way ░░░░░░░░ much pressure for ol ░░░░░░░░ I didn t even ░░░░░░░░ Audience boos LYDIC What ░░░░░░░░ But but but you ░░░░░░░░ what Grace said something ░░░░░░░░ morning that really made ░░░░░░░░ heart soar or whatever ░░░░░░░░ t you re looking ░░░░░░░░ So she can lift ░░░░░░░░ spirits Go to Grace ░░░░░░░░ Okay Okay great Grace ░░░░░░░░ let s go to ░░░░░░░░ Cheering and Applause I ░░░░░░░░ t wait to hear ░░░░░░░░ words of comfort KUHLENSCHMIDT ░░░░░░░░ I didn t say ░░░░░░░░ to comfort Kosta I ░░░░░░░░ asked to borrow a ░░░░░░░░ charger Uh okay uh ░░░░░░░░ comfort got it We ░░░░░░░░ not go quietly into ░░░░░░░░ night Cheering and Applause ░░░░░░░░ will not vanish without ░░░░░░░░ fight We re going ░░░░░░░░ live on we re ░░░░░░░░ to survive Today we ░░░░░░░░ our Independence Day LYDIC ░░░░░░░░ no no That s ░░░░░░░░ Pullman s speech from ░░░░░░░░ Day That doesn t ░░░░░░░░ No it has to ░░░░░░░░ your own words KUHLENSCHMIDT ░░░░░░░░ come on I don ░░░░░░░░ know how to give ░░░░░░░░ rousing speech I m ░░░░░░░░ m just a girl ░░░░░░░░ in front of a ░░░░░░░░ asking him to love ░░░░░░░░ LYDIC That s Notting ░░░░░░░░ You blew it Grace ░░░░░░░░ Josh what about you ░░░░░░░░ and Applause Johnson All ░░░░░░░░ Don t worry Desi ░░░░░░░░ got this LYDIC Okay ░░░░░░░░ Johnson You ever go ░░░░░░░░ the clinic thinking you ░░░░░░░░ herpes and then you ░░░░░░░░ out you do have ░░░░░░░░ LYDIC No Johnson It ░░░░░░░░ kind of nice because ░░░░░░░░ at least you know ░░░░░░░░ and Applause Was that ░░░░░░░░ LYDIC No Not at ░░░░░░░░ Please please Josh give ░░░░░░░░ something Johnson Yeah uh ░░░░░░░░ on one second Real ░░░░░░░░ Oh I m sorry ░░░░░░░░ mouth is full Can ░░░░░░░░ talk right now Desi ░░░░░░░░ You took that bite ░░░░░░░░ purpose Let s go ░░░░░░░░ Jordan Klepper Jordan KLEPPER ░░░░░░░░ no no Cheering and ░░░░░░░░ Fine okay Yes Desi ░░░░░░░░ ll be happy to ░░░░░░░░ you just hold on ░░░░░░░░ a second LYDIC No ░░░░░░░░ You spit that out ░░░░░░░░ spit it out Klepper ░░░░░░░░ it out You say ░░░░░░░░ inspiring right now young ░░░░░░░░ KLEPPER Fine Fine Desi ░░░░░░░░ I m just a ░░░░░░░░ standing in front of ░░░░░░░░ boy asking Laughter and ░░░░░░░░ LYDIC No No stop ░░░░░░░░ you inspire the nation ░░░░░░░░ I don t have ░░░░░░░░ words for that Desi ░░░░░░░░ you know what You ░░░░░░░░ what The way you ░░░░░░░░ talking earlier about how ░░░░░░░░ as a news team ░░░░░░░░ inspiring to each other ░░░░░░░░ that was some soaring ░░░░░░░░ Let s go to ░░░░░░░░ Lydic for that Cheering ░░░░░░░░ Applause LYDIC No you ░░░░░░░░ t throw to me ░░░░░░░░ throw to you KLEPPER ░░░░░░░░ throw to you LYDIC ░░░░░░░░ throw to you KLEPPER ░░░░░░░░ throw to you CHIENG ░░░░░░░░ guys I ll do ░░░░░░░░ you babies Cheering and ░░░░░░░░ LYDIC Ronny Chieng thank ░░░░░░░░ Would you please say ░░░░░░░░ to inspire our spirits ░░░░░░░░ Yeah this is easy ░░░░░░░░ got it I got ░░░░░░░░ Just give me some ░░░░░░░░ LYDIC Okay CHIENG America ░░░░░░░░ love you If you ░░░░░░░░ feeling upset or hurt ░░░░░░░░ depressed about the turn ░░░░░░░░ fascism that your beloved ░░░░░░░░ is taking then all ░░░░░░░░ have to do is ░░░░░░░░ just look into your ░░░░░░░░ and you take out ░░░░░░░░ foreign passport Cheering and ░░░░░░░░ And you go back ░░░░░░░░ Malaysia where you came ░░░░░░░░ until Trump leaves office ░░░░░░░░ and Applause LYDIC Ronny ░░░░░░░░ don t all have ░░░░░░░░ passports CHIENG I dunno ░░░░░░░░ s inspiring to me ░░░░░░░░ b tches LYDIC All ░░░░░░░░ that might be the ░░░░░░░░ we can do.”