[Applause Thanks to all ░░░░░░░░ you thank you for ░░░░░░░░ thank you for watching ░░░░░░░░ you for joining us ░░░░░░░░ at our home in ░░░░░░░░ Hollywood California where we ░░░░░░░░ and everyone are now ░░░░░░░░ four weeks from Election ░░░░░░░░ election day is a ░░░░░░░░ away here in California ░░░░░░░░ voting is already happening ░░░░░░░░ campaign has been going ░░░░░░░░ since like 1985 or ░░░░░░░░ like that and I ░░░░░░░░ like the candidates are ░░░░░░░░ out of ways to ░░░░░░░░ us for money I ░░░░░░░░ a fun fundraising email ░░░░░░░░ Comm Paris last night ░░░░░░░░ said you up but ░░░░░░░░ Democrats seem to have ░░░░░░░░ momentum and all caps ░░░░░░░░ America is feeling the ░░░░░░░░ this afternoon he who ░░░░░░░░ not be named oh ░░░░░░░░ ll name him later ░░░░░░░░ posted anybody that cheats ░░░░░░░░ the election is going ░░░░░░░░ jail which I agree ░░░░░░░░ this election and the ░░░░░░░░ one too it s ░░░░░░░░ hope I would like ░░░░░░░░ I hope they they ░░░░░░░░ silk screen that sentence ░░░░░░░░ the back of his ░░░░░░░░ jumpsuit Trump was not ░░░░░░░░ a magnanimous mood today ░░░░░░░░ s another new tellall ░░░░░░░░ on the way from ░░░░░░░░ journalist Bob Woodward Trump ░░░░░░░░ you may recall hated ░░░░░░░░ s previous three Trump ░░░░░░░░ so much so he ░░░░░░░░ for several extensive interviews ░░░░░░░░ those books I think ░░░░░░░░ may have finally learned ░░░░░░░░ lesson with this one ░░░░░░░░ his spokesperson said Woodward ░░░░░░░░ a total SLE bag ░░░░░░░░ has lost it mentally ░░░░░░░░ he s slow lethargic ░░░░░░░░ and overall a boring ░░░░░░░░ with no personality with ░░░░░░░░ said we are crazy ░░░░░░░░ everything he wrote is ░░░░░░░░ there some extra crispy ░░░░░░░░ in this one including ░░░░░░░░ few gems from one ░░░░░░░░ Trump s most loyal ░░░░░░░░ lickers Senator Senator Lindsay ░░░░░░░░ who said going to ░░░░░░░░ Lago is a little ░░░░░░░░ like going to North ░░░░░░░░ and admits that Joe ░░░░░░░░ won the election fair ░░░░░░░░ square but says Trump ░░░░░░░░ doesn t like to ░░░░░░░░ that so well by ░░░░░░░░ means entertain his dangerous ░░░░░░░░ until we ve burned ░░░░░░░░ to the ground then ░░░░░░░░ the bigly scoop for ░░░░░░░░ Woodward involves Trump s ░░░░░░░░ the book says Trump ░░░░░░░░ spoken to Vladimir Putin ░░░░░░░░ times since he left ░░░░░░░░ which is less than ░░░░░░░░ but more than Tiffany ░░░░░░░░ s right in the ░░░░░░░░ Sweet Spot Trump once ░░░░░░░░ a senior Aid leave ░░░░░░░░ room so he could ░░░░░░░░ a private call with ░░░░░░░░ which hello Donald what ░░░░░░░░ you wearing I m ░░░░░░░░ on my horse again ░░░░░░░░ and this is quite ░░░░░░░░ detail during the height ░░░░░░░░ the pandemic right around ░░░░░░░░ time Trump was trying ░░░░░░░░ get us to stop ░░░░░░░░ for Co because the ░░░░░░░░ numbers were making him ░░░░░░░░ bad agent orange secretly ░░░░░░░░ his buddy Vlad a ░░░░░░░░ of hard to get ░░░░░░░░ testing machines for his ░░░░░░░░ use you wouldn t ░░░░░░░░ one of the most ░░░░░░░░ murderers on the planet ░░░░░░░░ get a cough would ░░░░░░░░ but Bob Woodward reported ░░░░░░░░ Putin said he said ░░░░░░░░ don t tell anybody ░░░░░░░░ sent these to me ░░░░░░░░ said I don t ░░░░░░░░ fine and Putin said ░░░░░░░░ don t want you ░░░░░░░░ tell anybody because people ░░░░░░░░ get mad at you ░░░░░░░░ me they don t ░░░░░░░░ about me and you ░░░░░░░░ know you aren t ░░░░░░░░ bright When Vladimir Putin ░░░░░░░░ to help you with ░░░░░░░░ can you imagine I ░░░░░░░░ nurses doctors American hospitals ░░░░░░░░ t get these machines ░░░░░░░░ s sending them to ░░░░░░░░ Devil Himself and by ░░░░░░░░ way he didn t ░░░░░░░░ for that we paid ░░░░░░░░ that thing he sent ░░░░░░░░ don t want to ░░░░░░░░ Trump was his puppet ░░░░░░░░ whenever they re in ░░░░░░░░ room together you never ░░░░░░░░ more than one of ░░░░░░░░ s hands okay the ░░░░░░░░ has some stories about ░░░░░░░░ current president too Joe ░░░░░░░░ in private refers to ░░░░░░░░ as that effing a ░░░░░░░░ which tracks of BB ░░░░░░░░ Biden said that son ░░░░░░░░ a he s a ░░░░░░░░ guy he s a ░░░░░░░░ effing guy and he ░░░░░░░░ to Trump s Co ░░░░░░░░ as that effing Putin ░░░░░░░░ don t know why ░░░░░░░░ Biden only curses behind ░░░░░░░░ doors you re on ░░░░░░░░ way out start doing ░░░░░░░░ conferences like like Richard ░░░░░░░░ on the Sunset Strip ░░░░░░░░ mean it s Joe ░░░░░░░░ at the Apollo have ░░░░░░░░ fun already the book ░░░░░░░░ out on Tuesday but ░░░░░░░░ released uh the cover ░░░░░░░░ already and you can ░░░░░░░░ it was lovingly designed ░░░░░░░░ a guy with a ░░░░░░░░ 30 day trial to ░░░░░░░░ and then we have ░░░░░░░░ other big Trump book ░░░░░░░░ melan s Memoir came ░░░░░░░░ today it s called ░░░░░░░░ it s named after ░░░░░░░░ um proceeds from sales ░░░░░░░░ the book are going ░░░░░░░░ one of Melania s ░░░░░░░░ Charities body doubles for ░░░░░░░░ visits very good group ░░░░░░░░ now it s book ░░░░░░░░ book is ranked number ░░░░░░░░ on Amazon and despite ░░░░░░░░ fact that it just ░░░░░░░░ out even has reviews ░░░░░░░░ s one of the ░░░░░░░░ jaylo gives it five ░░░░░░░░ says wonderful this was ░░░░░░░░ best book I ve ░░░░░░░░ read which is a ░░░░░░░░ way of saying I ░░░░░░░░ never read another book ░░░░░░░░ shares some of her ░░░░░░░░ be B best anecdotes ░░░░░░░░ the book there s ░░░░░░░░ passage about at that ░░░░░░░░ in 2019 her husband ░░░░░░░░ her in to watch ░░░░░░░░ classified military operation even ░░░░░░░░ she didn t have ░░░░░░░░ clearance only Donald Trump ░░░░░░░░ call his wife in ░░░░░░░░ watch a top secret ░░░░░░░░ like it was a ░░░░░░░░ tock of a baby ░░░░░░░░ or something Melania claims ░░░░░░░░ didn t condemn the ░░░░░░░░ on January 6th because ░░░░░░░░ was busy going over ░░░░░░░░ House renovations that day ░░░░░░░░ didn t know what ░░░░░░░░ and probably the most ░░░░░░░░ Revelation in the book ░░░░░░░░ that Trump told her ░░░░░░░░ Dawn Jr was bred ░░░░░░░░ for his organs ain ░░░░░░░░ that something well I ░░░░░░░░ that one up that ░░░░░░░░ was not to but ░░░░░░░░ fact that wow the ░░░░░░░░ that you believed it ░░░░░░░░ says something about either ░░░░░░░░ or him I m ░░░░░░░░ sure melan also went ░░░░░░░░ detail about her favorite ░░░░░░░░ as First Lady people ░░░░░░░░ asking me what was ░░░░░░░░ favorite memory as First ░░░░░░░░ it was in 2020 ░░░░░░░░ Donald get the China ░░░░░░░░ and he was airlifted ░░░░░░░░ hospital like sick elephant ░░░░░░░░ and I threw party ░░░░░░░░ back long we danced ░░░░░░░░ giant bonfire and shot ░░░░░░░░ cookers at mik pents ░░░░░░░░ had Lincoln bedroom all ░░░░░░░░ myself and did not ░░░░░░░░ wink too many smiling ░░░░░░░░ the elephant make it ░░░░░░░░ it s humpy humpy ░░░░░░░░ elephant find me is ░░░░░░░░ m taking off my ░░░░░░░░ you know what there ░░░░░░░░ still a spark between ░░░░░░░░ that s very sweet ░░░░░░░░ will say that I ░░░░░░░░ reading some of the ░░░░░░░░ of the book and ░░░░░░░░ are not excellent Vanity ░░░░░░░░ says Melania Trump s ░░░░░░░░ book is truly bad ░░░░░░░░ what these reviewers don ░░░░░░░░ realize is that it ░░░░░░░░ not just a a ░░░░░░░░ it is this it ░░░░░░░░ also a Applause fragrance ░░░░░░░░ like Slovenian prenup ink ░░░░░░░░ you can take that ░░░░░░░░ meanwhile a scary and ░░░░░░░░ hurricane is barreling towards ░░░░░░░░ right now hurricane Milton ░░░░░░░░ at Category 5 out ░░░░░░░░ five which is something ░░░░░░░░ the experts even the ░░░░░░░░ who know everything there ░░░░░░░░ to know about hurricanes ░░░░░░░░ not heard of I ░░░░░░░░ like to tell you ░░░░░░░░ there s a very ░░░░░░░░ hurricane that s coming ░░░░░░░░ the line and it ░░░░░░░░ a category five which ░░░░░░░░ something that I ve ░░░░░░░░ heard a category five ░░░░░░░░ coming on to land ░░░░░░░░ it looks like it ░░░░░░░░ going to no you ░░░░░░░░ heard of a category ░░░░░░░░ coming on to land ░░░░░░░░ is interesting because I ░░░░░░░░ under the impression that ░░░░░░░░ had I saw the ░░░░░░░░ effects of that category ░░░░░░░░ Hurrican C category five ░░░░░░░░ heard about category fives ░░░░░░░░ it was a category ░░░░░░░░ I never even knew ░░░░░░░░ category five existed category ░░░░░░░░ nobody s ever heard ░░░░░░░░ a five hitting land ░░░░░░░░ by that time it ░░░░░░░░ dissipated this was almost ░░░░░░░░ in at a five ░░░░░░░░ was a five a ░░░░░░░░ bit out offshore I ░░░░░░░░ t know that we ░░░░░░░░ ever seen that category ░░░░░░░░ something that I don ░░░░░░░░ know that I ve ░░░░░░░░ even heard the term ░░░░░░░░ you know he did ░░░░░░░░ his meteorology degree from ░░░░░░░░ University there was a ░░░░░░░░ 5 hurricane in Florida ░░░░░░░░ Trump was President he ░░░░░░░░ probably busy with Kanye ░░░░░░░░ that one Trump did ░░░░░░░░ Fox News Q amp ░░░░░░░░ with Laura Ingram last ░░░░░░░░ where he again showed ░░░░░░░░ he is always always ░░░░░░░░ wrong that was a ░░░░░░░░ storm much worse and ░░░░░░░░ know it s late ░░░░░░░░ the season you wouldn ░░░░░░░░ think a thing like ░░░░░░░░ could happen yeah no ░░░░░░░░ s not late in ░░░░░░░░ season hurricane season goes ░░░░░░░░ the end of November ░░░░░░░░ said this about hurricane ░░░░░░░░ too the guy lives ░░░░░░░░ Florida he doesn t ░░░░░░░░ when hurricanes happen but ░░░░░░░░ doesn t matter when ░░░░░░░░ happen what matters is ░░░░░░░░ they happen and the ░░░░░░░░ to why is Joe ░░░░░░░░ and kamla Harris only ░░░░░░░░ Trump sees a natural ░░░░░░░░ coming and goes who ░░░░░░░░ I blame for this ░░░░░░░░ Laura Ingram wasn t ░░░░░░░░ this load of crap ░░░░░░░░ don t have the ░░░░░░░░ they re not doing ░░░░░░░░ it s a bad ░░░░░░░░ s a very bad ░░░░░░░░ this is how would ░░░░░░░░ do it differently I ░░░░░░░░ have a tremendous team ░░░░░░░░ people here they don ░░░░░░░░ have any people Florida ░░░░░░░░ it very hard Biden ░░░░░░░░ the response has been ░░░░░░░░ and well coordin ated ░░░░░░░░ President nobody says that ░░░░░░░░ doesn t know he ░░░░░░░░ t know what robust ░░░░░░░░ he should be there ░░░░░░░░ she should be there ░░░░░░░░ shouldn t be at ░░░░░░░░ she was there today ░░░░░░░░ three hours I believe ░░░░░░░░ well robust it I ░░░░░░░░ tell you what Laura ░░░░░░░░ in trouble Laura just ░░░░░░░░ her her cabinet position ░░░░░░░░ Secretary of MCG griddles ░░░░░░░░ response has been so ░░░░░░░░ to the hurricane they ░░░░░░░░ this response has been ░░░░░░░░ Buddha judge saying he ░░░░░░░░ the way for some ░░░░░░░░ my helicopters to come ░░░░░░░░ he he he praised ░░░░░░░░ judge well that was ░░░░░░░░ days late because what ░░░░░░░░ is he sent his ░░░░░░░░ great you know Gadgets ░░░░░░░░ he has the one ░░░░░░░░ the starlinks and then ░░░░░░░░ sent it in and ░░░░░░░░ they wouldn t allow ░░░░░░░░ to go in and ░░░░░░░░ two days and then ░░░░░░░░ Edge Edge as you ░░░░░░░░ boot Edge Edge uh ░░░░░░░░ and I guess two ░░░░░░░░ late though yeah when ░░░░░░░░ doubt mispronounced Buddha judge ░░░░░░░░ s how you do ░░░░░░░░ 78 years old still ░░░░░░░░ out his words and ░░░░░░░░ we have Captain jerk ░░░░░░░░ Starlink himself Elon Musk ░░░░░░░░ yueda vomit trol Tucker ░░░░░░░░ I I made I ░░░░░░░░ a joke which I ░░░░░░░░ I deleted um which ░░░░░░░░ like nobody s even ░░░░░░░░ to try to kill ░░░░░░░░ because it s pointless ░░░░░░░░ do you achieve nothing ░░░░░░░░ puppet exactly that s ░░░░░░░░ s no point in ░░░░░░░░ s deep and true ░░░░░░░░ nobody s treding to ░░░░░░░░ Joe Biden it s ░░░░░░░░ pointless totally I like ░░░░░░░░ t it seem strange ░░░░░░░░ no one s even ░░░░░░░░ to try hilarious just ░░░░░░░░ sociopaths laughing it up ░░░░░░░░ who s worthy of ░░░░░░░░ assassinated or not not ░░░░░░░░ at all and likable ░░░░░░░░ likable are we sure ░░░░░░░░ re not AI you ░░░░░░░░ that we keep hearing ░░░░░░░░ is going to kill ░░░░░░░░ I it might be ░░░░░░░░ two here in California ░░░░░░░░ governor Gavin Nome signed ░░░░░░░░ bill that makes California ░░░░░░░░ first state to ban ░░░░░░░░ Loops in school cafeterias ░░░░░░░░ Loops uh the cereal ░░░░░░░░ additives and dyes that ░░░░░░░░ been linked to hyperactivity ░░░░░░░░ ADHD and um all ░░░░░░░░ spouting nonsense at once ░░░░░░░░ and desist Mr Jimmy ░░░░░░░░ oh it s two ░░░░░░░░ Sam everybody wow what ░░░░░░░░ you know we were ░░░░░░░░ talking about Governor Nome ░░░░░░░░ Froot Loops in schools ░░░░░░░░ nuisance should keep his ░░░░░░░░ out of other people ░░░░░░░░ business Banning Froot Loops ░░░░░░░░ schools what s he ░░░░░░░░ to ban next knives ░░░░░░░░ I think knives are ░░░░░░░░ banned in schools yeah ░░░░░░░░ think that s they ░░░░░░░░ yeah well how would ░░░░░░░░ protect themselves against Italians ░░░░░░░░ that s very offensive ░░░░░░░░ I think you re ░░░░░░░░ drunk how dare you ░░░░░░░░ m not drunk okay ░░░░░░░░ right I am part ░░░░░░░░ a healthy breakfast yeah ░░░░░░░░ help children start their ░░░░░░░░ with fruits oh yeah ░░░░░░░░ follow your nose 2 ░░░░░░░░ fruits are in Fruit ░░░░░░░░ well there s orange ░░░░░░░░ there s red and ░░░░░░░░ yeah red red and ░░░░░░░░ aren t fruits which ░░░░░░░░ why we spell fruits ░░░░░░░░ two o s you ░░░░░░░░ douchebag well that s ░░░░░░░░ very nice and you ░░░░░░░░ I love Froot Loop ░░░░░░░░ I I m not ░░░░░░░░ do yeah I do ░░░░░░░░ why are they doing ░░░░░░░░ to me why are ░░░░░░░░ doing this to us ░░░░░░░░ Mo could you please ░░░░░░░░ him out don t ░░░░░░░░ I m flying south ░░░░░░░░ the winter to Venezuela ░░░░░░░░ are you from Venezuela ░░░░░░░░ no that s where ░░░░░░░░ don t have an ░░░░░░░░ treaty let s just ░░░░░░░░ I also followed my ░░░░░░░░ to 10 or 12 ░░░░░░░░ offs at Diddy s ░░░░░░░░ oh my goodness okay ░░░░░░░░ it s time for ░░░░░░░░ two Cy thank you ░░░░░░░░ take it for me ░░░░░░░░ don t fil your ░░░░░░░░ gos all right I ░░░░░░░░ a dirty bird all ░░░░░░░░ Applause]