Bill Maher: ‘J.D. Vance Is Kind of a Giant A**hole ... but He Doesn’t F**k the Couch’

[Applause And finally new ░░░░░░░░ someone has to tell ░░░░░░░░ how Americans can keep ░░░░░░░░ more alike but also ░░░░░░░░ each other more than ░░░░░░░░ I was made to ░░░░░░░░ of this recently when ░░░░░░░░ came to my attention ░░░░░░░░ vice presidential candidate JD ░░░░░░░░ his couch oh I ░░░░░░░░ sure you heard it ░░░░░░░░ it was everywhere one ░░░░░░░░ wrote it on Twitter ░░░░░░░░ immediately half the country ░░░░░░░░ Allin our hate for ░░░░░░░░ other is so intense ░░░░░░░░ all just immediately believe ░░░░░░░░ bad about the other ░░░░░░░░ I mean don t ░░░░░░░░ me started on they ░░░░░░░░ eating the dogs they ░░░░░░░░ eating the dogs they ░░░░░░░░ coming for the pets ░░░░░░░░ re eating the dogs ░░░░░░░░ look I think JD ░░░░░░░░ is kind of a ░░░░░░░░ still would love to ░░░░░░░░ you on the show ░░░░░░░░ but but he doesn ░░░░░░░░ the couch it s ░░░░░░░░ in his book as ░░░░░░░░ rumor suggested what goes ░░░░░░░░ between a man and ░░░░░░░░ he None of my ░░░░░░░░ but in this case ░░░░░░░░ just didn t happen ░░░░░░░░ what is in that ░░░░░░░░ is a much more ░░░░░░░░ passage where Vance recalls ░░░░░░░░ at age eight he ░░░░░░░░ he might be gay ░░░░░░░░ really resonated with me ░░░░░░░░ when I was eight ░░░░░░░░ was still a few ░░░░░░░░ off so I hated ░░░░░░░░ at eight they had ░░░░░░░░ and I only wanted ░░░░░░░░ be with boys well ░░░░░░░░ does sound gay so ░░░░░░░░ the eight year old ░░░░░░░░ goes to his grandmother ░░░░░░░░ he calls mama and ░░░░░░░░ has 19 guns stashed ░░░░░░░░ the house in case ░░░░░░░░ s Army comes back ░░░░░░░░ guess and he asks ░░░░░░░░ if she a woman ░░░░░░░░ in Kentucky in 1933 ░░░░░░░░ he s gay and ░░░░░░░░ says J D do ░░░░░░░░ want to suck dicks ░░░░░░░░ he says no mama ░░░░░░░░ she says then you ░░░░░░░░ not gay and even ░░░░░░░░ you did want to ░░░░░░░░ dicks that would be ░░░░░░░░ God would still love ░░░░░░░░ but stay away from ░░░░░░░░ makeup I made that ░░░░░░░░ one up get rid ░░░░░░░░ that I m minut ░░░░░░░░ other than that I ░░░░░░░░ like this is a ░░░░░░░░ moment maybe the Hicks ░░░░░░░░ not as hickey as ░░░░░░░░ used to be I ░░░░░░░░ it s a cliche ░░░░░░░░ the coastal folks just ░░░░░░░░ over the Fly Over ░░░░░░░░ but they mostly do ░░░░░░░░ they re stuck in ░░░░░░░░ Time Warp where I ░░░░░░░░ t know Farmers looked ░░░░░░░░ this but farmers use ░░░░░░░░ now they believe in ░░░░░░░░ change they went to ░░░░░░░░ and majored in a ░░░░░░░░ s a science to ░░░░░░░░ food could you do ░░░░░░░░ are there still prejudice ░░░░░░░░ in small towns in ░░░░░░░░ former Confederacy of course ░░░░░░░░ of those places are ░░░░░░░░ bad as Boston have ░░░░░░░░ ever been but Kansas ░░░░░░░░ year voted strongly for ░░░░░░░░ rights and they have ░░░░░░░░ woman Governor whereas California ░░░░░░░░ a state that has ░░░░░░░░ had a woman Governor ░░░░░░░░ is complicated we talk ░░░░░░░░ red and blue States ░░░░░░░░ every state is purple ░░░░░░░░ of Texans voted Democrat ░░░░░░░░ 2020 yeah because Texas ░░░░░░░░ a giant State full ░░░░░░░░ people with different ethnicities ░░░░░░░░ cultures and forms of ░░░░░░░░ many rural Traditions have ░░░░░░░░ crossed over to become ░░░░░░░░ mainstream look on PornHub ░░░░░░░░ everybody s banging their ░░░░░░░░ I ve played all ░░░░░░░░ cities of the Deep ░░░░░░░░ and they re not ░░░░░░░░ different they have Starbucks ░░░░░░░░ like up north they ░░░░░░░░ even got that thing ░░░░░░░░ you can tap your ░░░░░░░░ and tip 22 for ░░░░░░░░ reason sure it sounds ░░░░░░░░ when you hear order ░░░░░░░░ for American Patriot American ░░░░░░░░ your DEC MoCA latte ░░░░░░░░ ready but that s ░░░░░░░░ thing America is a ░░░░░░░░ mixed up place now ░░░░░░░░ South Dakota has a ░░░░░░░░ bar that s LGBT ░░░░░░░░ a nearby Rapid City ░░░░░░░░ a rooftop Sky Bar ░░░░░░░░ sells 18 cocktails just ░░░░░░░░ the in LA doow ░░░░░░░░ Springs Arkansas is home ░░░░░░░░ a 70 foot tall ░░░░░░░░ of Jesus and is ░░░░░░░░ the place The Advocate ░░░░░░░░ the gayest small town ░░░░░░░░ America the third largest ░░░░░░░░ in the whole country ░░░░░░░░ in Sugarland Texas and ░░░░░░░░ s of a Hindu ░░░░░░░░ God yeah well a ░░░░░░░░ years ago there was ░░░░░░░░ trial about monkeys in ░░░░░░░░ South and it really ░░░░░░░░ people back then but ░░░░░░░░ change nobody in Sugarland ░░░░░░░░ cares now about Hindus ░░░░░░░░ monkey gods they don ░░░░░░░░ seem to be scared ░░░░░░░░ Indian Americans either they ░░░░░░░░ too many people s ░░░░░░░░ doctors now the food ░░░░░░░░ really caught on that ░░░░░░░░ true but an indianamerican ░░░░░░░░ going to be president ░░░░░░░░ another one might be ░░░░░░░░ the other side someday ░░░░░░░░ JD Vance for all ░░░░░░░░ insanity is married to ░░░░░░░░ Indian American and despite ░░░░░░░░ Laura lomer said about ░░░░░░░░ Mrs Vance was welcome ░░░░░░░░ at the Republican convention ░░░░░░░░ no one but the ░░░░░░░░ deranged is thinking about ░░░░░░░░ although that may be ░░░░░░░░ the food never caught ░░░░░░░░ I m just I ░░░░░░░░ just saying it s ░░░░░░░░ all bullets and mullets ░░░░░░░░ there anymore just look ░░░░░░░░ the music maybe that ░░░░░░░░ the best anoun ology ░░░░░░░░ where we are culturally ░░░░░░░░ used to hate country ░░░░░░░░ for a very good ░░░░░░░░ it sucked but it ░░░░░░░░ because the people making ░░░░░░░░ changed it s not ░░░░░░░░ picking and a grinning ░░░░░░░░ in a rhinestone leisure ░░░░░░░░ vaguely longing for the ░░░░░░░░ of segregation anymore mostly ░░░░░░░░ lot of it s ░░░░░░░░ now it s sounds ░░░░░░░░ the eagles in 1972 ░░░░░░░░ number one song on ░░░░░░░░ country chart this week ░░░░░░░░ by shabzi does he ░░░░░░░░ like an oakd boy ░░░░░░░░ you Post Malone is ░░░░░░░░ country star now and ░░░░░░░░ need a bookmark just ░░░░░░░░ make it through his ░░░░░░░░ Snoop Dogg and Willie ░░░░░░░░ both have the same ░░░░░░░░ at at this year ░░░░░░░░ Grammy Awards Luke Colmes ░░░░░░░░ a duet with Tracy ░░░░░░░░ a queer black woman ░░░░░░░░ no one ran screaming ░░░░░░░░ the building in fact ░░░░░░░░ all loved it the ░░░░░░░░ hat people and the ░░░░░░░░ hair people they don ░░░░░░░░ hate each other they ░░░░░░░░ and respect each other ░░░░░░░░ want to work together ░░░░░░░░ can t duplicate this ░░░░░░░░ a grander scale in ░░░░░░░░ why Why Don t ░░░░░░░░ just resist our worst ░░░░░░░░ and next time we ░░░░░░░░ tempted to be hateful ░░░░░░░░ just want the other ░░░░░░░░ to die stop stop ░░░░░░░░ think about JD Vance ░░░░░░░░ loving grandma if she ░░░░░░░░ pull with it maybe ░░░░░░░░ re not so different ░░░░░░░░ all for