Stewart to Robert Menendez: ‘Legal Corruption in the Senate Is So F[bleep] Lucrative’ ... ‘How Dumb Is You?’

[Clip starts reporter voice ░░░░░░░░ whose lawyers indicate he ░░░░░░░░ try to blame his ░░░░░░░░ Clip ends Audience reacts ░░░░░░░░ Yes it s those ░░░░░░░░ magic words every woman ░░░░░░░░ dying to hear It ░░░░░░░░ her She did it ░░░░░░░░ know I d feel ░░░░░░░░ lot worse for her ░░░░░░░░ she wasn t also ░░░░░░░░ a terrible person Read ░░░░░░░░ on it I can ░░░░░░░░ explain everything right now ░░░░░░░░ I will just say ░░░░░░░░ Bleep awful But perhaps ░░░░░░░░ dumbest thing about this ░░░░░░░░ not quite believable Real ░░░░░░░░ episode is how unnecessary ░░░░░░░░ all is You sir ░░░░░░░░ an elected official in ░░░░░░░░ s most respected legislative ░░░░░░░░ It s like a ░░░░░░░░ to print money You ░░░░░░░░ t need to break ░░░░░░░░ law so cartoonishly when ░░░░░░░░ legal corruption in the ░░░░░░░░ is so bleep lucrative ░░░░░░░░ brings us to our ░░░░░░░░ segment Senator Robert Menendez ░░░░░░░░ dumb is you Cheering ░░░░░░░░ Applause As a New ░░░░░░░░ resident as a constituent ░░░░░░░░ yours Senator Menendez I ░░░░░░░░ to ask with all ░░░░░░░░ respect how bleep dumb ░░░░░░░░ you Promising favors to ░░░░░░░░ entities for a little ░░░░░░░░ change on the side ░░░░░░░░ s bush league when ░░░░░░░░ a U S senator ░░░░░░░░ can enrich yourself in ░░░░░░░░ many different let s ░░░░░░░░ them legal ways For ░░░░░░░░ the stock market Clip ░░░░░░░░ reporter Members of Congress ░░░░░░░░ portfolios consistently beat the ░░░░░░░░ P 500 SCHWEIZER The ░░░░░░░░ hedge fund was beating ░░░░░░░░ market at 7 The ░░░░░░░░ found that the average ░░░░░░░░ S senator was beating ░░░░░░░░ stock market by 12 ░░░░░░░░ ends STEWART The average ░░░░░░░░ S Senator And if ░░░░░░░░ think it s because ░░░░░░░░ average U S senator ░░░░░░░░ just so smart this ░░░░░░░░ the average U S ░░░░░░░░ Tommy Tuberville an ex ░░░░░░░░ coach who doesn t ░░░░░░░░ the three branches of ░░░░░░░░ Oh but when it ░░░░░░░░ to the stock market ░░░░░░░░ sees the matrix How ░░░░░░░░ they do it Well ░░░░░░░░ secret is a shrewd ░░░░░░░░ of the intricate interconnectivity ░░░░░░░░ global markets I m ░░░░░░░░ they have inside information ░░░░░░░░ starts reporter California congressman ░░░░░░░░ named Alan Lowenthal his ░░░░░░░░ sold shares of Boeing ░░░░░░░░ 5th of 2020 The ░░░░░░░░ next day the committee ░░░░░░░░ which he serves in ░░░░░░░░ House released a damaging ░░░░░░░░ on the Boeing 737 ░░░░░░░░ Clip ends STEWART Oh ░░░░░░░░ god What timing You ░░░░░░░░ that See the rest ░░░░░░░░ us only find out ░░░░░░░░ Boeing s problems as ░░░░░░░░ are being sucked out ░░░░░░░░ the fuselage mid flight ░░░░░░░░ flying out over the ░░░░░░░░ Cheering and Applause You ░░░░░░░░ flying in the air ░░░░░░░░ the wing Sell sell ░░░░░░░░ don t think they ░░░░░░░░ good And it happens ░░░░░░░░ the time North Carolina ░░░░░░░░ Richard Burr received a ░░░░░░░░ briefing in 2020 about ░░░░░░░░ bad the Covid pandemic ░░░░░░░░ going to be for ░░░░░░░░ and he immediately sold ░░░░░░░░ his stocks saving himself ░░░░░░░░ small fortune Of course ░░░░░░░░ had a reasonable explanation ░░░░░░░░ starts CNN reporter We ░░░░░░░░ to ask you about ░░░░░░░░ stock trades back in ░░░░░░░░ of 2020 You know ░░░░░░░░ SEC says that you ░░░░░░░░ material nonpublic information when ░░░░░░░░ made those trades BURR ░░░░░░░░ have to look at ░░░░░░░░ I put out CNN ░░░░░░░░ I did look at ░░░░░░░░ you put out How ░░░░░░░░ that not insider trading ░░░░░░░░ ends STEWART I m ░░░░░░░░ sorry sir I wanted ░░░░░░░░ answer your question If ░░░░░░░░ there was a button ░░░░░░░░ kept these elevator doors ░░░░░░░░ By the way for ░░░░░░░░ of you at home ░░░░░░░░ don t have a ░░░░░░░░ plated elevator you can ░░░░░░░░ these types of questions ░░░░░░░░ just by pretending to ░░░░░░░░ the stairs Oh I ░░░░░░░░ sorry I can t ░░░░░░░░ talk right And you ░░░░░░░░ the elevator back up ░░░░░░░░ and Applause I would ░░░░░░░░ that bit more but ░░░░░░░░ knees hurt As soon ░░░░░░░░ I did the first ░░░░░░░░ because I didn t ░░░░░░░░ in rehearsal I did ░░░░░░░░ just now and I ░░░░░░░░ like That is not ░░░░░░░░ good idea That is ░░░░░░░░ of those where you ░░░░░░░░ like Stop the taping ░░░░░░░░ pull me back up ░░░░░░░░ you might be wondering ░░░░░░░░ yourself how does Congress ░░░░░░░░ away with all of ░░░░░░░░ It may be because ░░░░░░░░ is regulated by let ░░░░░░░░ check my notes here ░░░░░░░░ And it s Congress ░░░░░░░░ has refused to even ░░░░░░░░ a vote on the ░░░░░░░░ that have been proposed ░░░░░░░░ ban members of Congress ░░░░░░░░ trading stocks Because not ░░░░░░░░ members of Congress insider ░░░░░░░░ would be UN American ░░░░░░░░ listen to one of ░░░░░░░░ biggest beneficiaries of this ░░░░░░░░ windfall Clip starts reporter ░░░░░░░░ members of Congress and ░░░░░░░░ spouses be banned from ░░░░░░░░ individual stocks while serving ░░░░░░░░ Congress Pelosi No No ░░░░░░░░ the second one This ░░░░░░░░ a free market and ░░░░░░░░ we have a free ░░░░░░░░ economy They should be ░░░░░░░░ to participate in that ░░░░░░░░ ends STEWART Oh free ░░░░░░░░ Excuse me Ms Speaker ░░░░░░░░ don t mean to ░░░░░░░░ I m Martha Stewart ░░░░░░░░ the Why the bleep ░░░░░░░░ I go to jail ░░░░░░░░ picayune Why the bleep ░░░░░░░░ I go to jail?’”