Noah to U.K.: You Don’t Get to Back out of Brexit When You Inspired America To Elect Mr. Brexit

EXCERPT:

NOAH: "Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. There's a chance the U.K. may not have to leave the E.U.? No. No, I'm sorry. You do not get out of Brexit. You do not, no. Because Brexit inspired everybody else to screw up their own countries! People running around burning down (bleep), chanting 'Brexit! Brexit! Brexit!' America elected Mr. Brexit! And now you will try to breeze out of it? No! It feels like Britain's like, 'Oh, we didn't realize we had a backdoor. Oh, we didn't know there's a way out. We didn't.' And then America's like, 'Wait, do we also have —' 'No, you don't.' It's like, 'Wait, you said we were getting face tattoos.' 'Oh, yeah, mine is removable. I didn't realize. I thought it was permanent but it's not.' 'I've got a dick on my face!' 'It looks nice, though. It looks really nice!' No! You Brexit, Britain! Get out! We suffer together."