Noah: Unlike Trump, ‘Cruz Is a Grower, Not a Shower’

NOAH: "I think we can all agree Donald Trump is the best thing to happen to politics. No, no, no. Hear me out. Hear me out. Because there was a time when for most people watching primary debates was a chore. And one of those chores that you don't have to do, you know, like dusting the toilet. But now thanks to Trump, people are once again engaged in the Democratic process, hoping, just hoping to catch moments like this."
TRUMP [video]: "He referred to my hands, if they're small, something else must be small. I guarantee you, there's no problem. I guarantee you."
NOAH: "That's right. That, that was a prime time presidential debate, where the frontrunner reassured the American public that he has a huge penis. Now, now the thing that people don't really know is, it's actually someone else's huge penis and Trump just licenses his name on it. That's all that is. But funny thing, sometimes what happens when you're as perfectly endowed as Donald Trump is that the next morning, it's the other person who wakes up smiling and satisfied."
NEWS REPORTS [video]: "Ted Cruz wakes up with new momentum in the Republican presidential race this morning ... Ted Cruz prevailed in both Kansas and Maine ... Trump still the frontrunner but after last night, you can see Cruz is nipping at his heels ... Erasing some of Trump's sizeable lead with two big wins."
NOAH: "Yes, so Donald Trump may have had a huge lead but it turns out that Cruz is a grower, not a shower. The Senator from Texas surprisingly beat Trump in Maine and he crushed him in Kansas."