Colbert: ‘You’re in a Cult’ if You’re ‘Willing to Stand up in the Desert Listening’ to Trump ‘Until Your Skull Bursts’

TRANSCRIPT:

COLBERT: “How are you? (applause) How are we doing? Doing OK for time? Do we have time for more jokes here? It was so hot at the Vegas rally, six people were taken to a hospital and another two dozen received medical attention. Here’s the deal. If you’re willing to stand out in the desert listening to some maniac ramble until your skull bursts open like a pan of Jiffy Pop, you’re in a cult! Or you’re at Coachella. Either way, get out of there and take off the stupid hat! (applause) Then — I’m telling you, folks — I’m growing orchids down there. Then, for some reason, Trump started talking about this question that he once posed to a boat manufacturer.”