Colbert: Trump May Have Slow Thumbs or a Very Talented P#nis

RUSH TRANSCRIPT:
COLBERT: "And Russia rumors must be getting to Trump, too, because last night he tweeted -- "Why isn't the House Intelligence Committee looking into the Bill and Hillary deal that allowed big Uranium to go to Russia, Russian speech... Money to Bill, the Hillary Russian 'reset,' praise of Russia by Hillary, or Podesta Russian company. Trump Russia story is a hoax. #Maga!" Yeah. Why isn't somebody investigating that? Why isn't somebody investigating all that? Because, remember, remember, Trump knows if Congress finds something on Hillary, she might have to resign from not being president? And check out the times on these tweets. He sent the first one at 9:26, last night, and then he completed the sentence nine minutes later. The second tweet was 23 words. That means he types two and a half words a minute. He's got slow thumbs or a very talented penis. Obviously those letters are very small. You want something tiny to type it out with."