Colbert: N.Y. Hates Ted Cruz So Bad, He Even Lost to Ben Carson in One County
COLBERT: The clearest message coming out of New York last night was, 'Suck it, Ted Cruz. Suck our New York values.' Because-- Cruz got just 15% of the vote, and in one county, he even lost to Ben Carson, who dropped out of the race a month ago. Though, to be fair, Dr. Carson may not be aware that he dropped out of the race. Shhh! Shhh! But even though he was beaten like a speedbag in a loose suit, at the end of the night, Ted Cruz managed to keep it positive and also kind of creepy.
CRUZ [video]: America has always been best when she is lying down with her back on the mat.
COLBERT: That is when America is at her best-- lying down with her back on the mat, lights on, end with a firm handshake, and then back to your separate beds for some quiet weeping. If you know what I mean.