Colbert Hilariously Illustrates How Low Political Discourse Has Reached in 2016

COLBERT: "All kidding aside, I am not putting any kidding aside. This man is talking about the size of his schvantz in a presidential debate. This is someone who could have his finger on the button. I hope it's his finger. We don't know if he can reach the button! We have no idea! The Russians could launch and he would be trying to reach the button! This is even worse than the Lincoln-Douglas debate, when Abraham Lincoln said: "No American, whether they be from north or south, free or slave, has ever complained about the size of my Lincoln log. And yes, the beard matches the drapes." I can't believe that these are absolutely legitimate jokes to be making about a presidential debate right now! For those of you who've been following American Democracy for the last 240 years, we have officially hit a new low in political discourse. Let's go to the chart. Yes, we've sunk below "Swift boat," below "Secret Muslim," below "John McCain's illegitimate baby," and, oh, we've shattered through the bottom of the chart! And it's burrowing into the Earth below the Ed Sullivan theater, past the subway lines. Past Hillary Clinton's secret email server, past the founding fathers spinning in their graves, and into the center of the Earth. There it is, stopping at presidential penis measuring contest. Pretty low. Though not quite the lowest rung. We still haven't hit "Onstage nutpunch followed by closing statement delivered via one long burp. But it's only March. We'll be right back."