Stewart Rips NYT for Exposing Rubio’s ‘Scandalous’ Parking Tickets and Mortgage Info

STEWART: “As we head into the 2016 presidential election, no one is asking harder questions of the candidates. Hillary Clinton’s email scandal, Jeb Bush’s possible fundraising violations. And now, they’ve set their sights on one of the hottest, fastest-rising politicians in the race. This is going to be devastating.”
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HEMMER:  “The New York Times ran a story about Senator Rubio’s parking tickets and his traffic history.” 
NN FEMALE: “Since 1997 the couple has amassed 17 citations, most of those tickets, 13 in all were given to Janet Rubio.”
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STEWART: “Oh!  (Laughter) Marco Rubio got four tickets in 17 years! (Laughter) I assume The New York Times obtained this damning information from Marco Rubio’s plaque in the hall of best Miami drivers ever. (Applause) How is Rubio going to talk his way out of this total scandal?”
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RUBIO: “I can tell you being from Miami, where you drive everywhere, having four tickets in 17 years is not considered bad. But let me just say, I really don’t like red light cameras, though. That’s a big scam.”
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STEWART: “Yeah! (Laughter) And what with this guy? I can’t cross the street till the white man says it’s okay? (Laughter) But The New York Times is just getting warmed up. This morning, Times [indecipherable] a front page story — front page, that’s going to blow the chinos right off the Rubio campaign.” 
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ALEXANDER(voice-over): “The New York Times this week detailed Rubio’s debt and mortgages, including his purchase of three homes, putting no money down on two of them. After a publisher paid Rubio $800,000 to write a book in 2012, the Senator paid off $100,000 in law school loans.”
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STEWART: “You bastard! (Laughter) Paying off law school loans? How dare you? (Laughter) At long last, senator, have you no sense of insolvency? Unless there’s more to this story.” 
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ALEXANDER (voice-over): “But he also purchased an $80,000 24-foot fishing boat like this and more recently leased a $50,000 luxury SUV.”
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STEWART: “Of course he leased it. Not going to buy one. You see the way his wife drives. (Laughter and Applause) I mean, thirteen speeding tickets. Now, listen, those may not seem like particularly extravagant expenses worthy of  The New York Times front page cover story, but it is slippery slope. It wasn’t long before the Rubio’s  were splurging  a whole house with and I quote: ‘An in-ground pool, a handsome brick driveway, meticulously manicured shrubs and oversize windows.’ Oversize windows! Oh, what’s the matter, senator, the normal amount of light isn’t good enough for you? (Laughter) I’m Senator Marco Rubio, I like to roll around in a giant patches of sunlight like ‘I’m a big old kitty cat. Meow. (Laughter) I was this front page news!’ I can’t think of a single person who would be bothered by this.”