Obama Thanks FTC for Banning Caffeinated Underwear

“I know sometimes your name confuses folks. They don’t always understand what your mission is. One person who does understand is David Letterman. A few months ago, he thanked you for standing up to the companies that were trying to pitch a new weight loss product, caffeine-laced undergarments. I’m actually not making this up. (Laughter) You ruled that these projects were not substantiated by scientific evidence. So thank you for saving America from caffeine-laced undergarments. These companies owe consumers a refund. (Laughter) And that was just the latest example.”