Comic Michelle Wolf Compares ICE to ISIS in Bizarre Mock Recruitment Video

EXCERPT:

UNKNOWN MAN (voice-over): “Are you worried about your country? Do you feel like your land is being invaded by foreign intruders who want to change your culture? Do you believe your way of life is under attack? And are you ready to finally do something about it? Then apply now to join I.C.E.”
UNKNOWN MAN 2: “I.C.E. is fighting to make a difference.”
UNKNOWN MAN 3: “I.C.E. is protecting our values and beliefs.”  
UNKNOWN MAN 4: “I.C.E. is rooting out the foreign enemy.”
UNKNOWN MAN 5: “I.C.E. is terrorizing the invaders.”
UNKNOWN MAN 6: “I.C.E. is attacking when they least expect.”
UNKNOWN MAN 7: “I.C.E. is blowing up the status quo.”
UNKNOWN MAN 2: “I joined to be part of the group of likeminded individuals who are really devoted to a cause.”
UNKNOWN MAN 3: “I joined after I watched some badass videos online.”
UNKNOWN MAN 4: “I joined because I wanted to secure the border, but then I found out that’s actually Border Patrol’s job.”
UNKNOWN MAN 2: “I joined to capture those MS-13 animals who are infesting America. I haven’t seen any yet, but I’ve heard about them.”
UNKNOWN MAN 3: “We’re an age-old American tradition dating all the way back to 2003, so slightly younger than that curly-haired kid on ‘Stranger Things,’ Gaten Matarazzo.”
UNKNOWN MAN 4: “That sounds Italian, but we’re not deporting those guys, yet.”    
WOLF (Playing Kirstjen Nielsen): “I’m Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen. It’s popular nowadays to say I.C.E. is bad. But there’s no better representation of American values of American values right now than I.C.E. is. And as an equal opportunity employer, we accept all levels of experience and education, from low to very low, and actively welcome those with diagnosed anger issues.”
UNKNOWN MAN 2: “I wanted to join the regular police, but they told me they wouldn’t take someone who is already under arrest.”
UNKNOWN MAN 4: “Animal control said, ‘Nope.’”
UNKNOWN MAN 3: “The TSA rejected me because I kept asking if there was something called sky-jail. Is there?”
UNKNOWN MAN 4: “I got kicked out of my neighborhood watch because I threw a microwave at a kid.”
WOLF (Playing Kirstjen Nielsen): “And we love that! Join us today and you too can tell your ‘I.C.E. is’ story.”
UNKNOWN MAN 3: “I.C.E. is waging war for everything that’s holy in this country. I guess you can call it a holy war.”
UNKNOWN MAN 4: “I.C.E. is guaranteeing my ticket to heaven.” 
WOLF (Playing Kirstjen Nielsen): “Take it from me. No organization is better than I.C.E. is.”

(via The Daily Wire)