Stewart Blasts Timeliness of Iran Deal, U.S.-Iran Break-up Announced on Twitter!

STEWART But our top ░░░░░░░░ tonight oh exciting news ░░░░░░░░ the world of foreign ░░░░░░░░ Start Clip WILLIAMS There ░░░░░░░░ signals the U S ░░░░░░░░ be close to an ░░░░░░░░ with Iran about it ░░░░░░░░ nuclear capability End Clip ░░░░░░░░ Just in the Nick ░░░░░░░░ time That is such ░░░░░░░░ news because you know ░░░░░░░░ is just a week ░░░░░░░░ from developing a nuclear ░░░░░░░░ They have been for ░░░░░░░░ past 20 years says ░░░░░░░░ who would like to ░░░░░░░░ Iran But if Iran ░░░░░░░░ willing to make a ░░░░░░░░ let s do this ░░░░░░░░ Clip REPORTER Foreign ministers ░░░░░░░░ the big Western powers ░░░░░░░░ by the U S ░░░░░░░░ of State John Kerry ░░░░░░░░ planes and canceled meetings ░░░░░░░░ fly into Geneva End ░░░░░░░░ STEWART Let the call ░░░░░░░░ out to the League ░░░░░░░░ Unknown Gentlemen Diplomats assemble ░░░░░░░░ were all there all ░░░░░░░░ big diplomats There was ░░░░░░░░ Gentleman the German emissary ░░░░░░░░ INDECIPHERABLE from France Lord ░░░░░░░░ J Powder of the ░░░░░░░░ K and or course ░░░░░░░░ Iran a five foot ░░░░░░░░ INDECIPHERABLE the man from ░░░░░░░░ Jimmy Death to America ░░░░░░░░ Yes from all around ░░░░░░░░ world foreign ministers came ░░░░░░░░ Geneva by jet by ░░░░░░░░ and train John Kerry ░░░░░░░░ turned around his trusty ░░░░░░░░ and said Entre you ░░░░░░░░ it took Kerry the ░░░░░░░░ time to get there ░░░░░░░░ he was on the ░░░░░░░░ It was worth the ░░░░░░░░ because bear in mind ░░░░░░░░ historical context of these ░░░░░░░░ Start Clip INTERVIEWEE We ░░░░░░░░ take it for granted ░░░░░░░░ the secretary of state ░░░░░░░░ talk to Iran s ░░░░░░░░ minister but that hadn ░░░░░░░░ happened in 34 years ░░░░░░░░ last September and now ░░░░░░░░ spent more time in ░░░░░░░░ last 24 hours than ░░░░░░░░ have in 34 years ░░░░░░░░ Clip STEWART 30 four ░░░░░░░░ 30 four years I ░░░░░░░░ guessing at the meeting ░░░░░░░░ was all like Man ░░░░░░░░ were we even fighting ░░░░░░░░ And Iran was all ░░░░░░░░ Well in 1953 you ░░░░░░░░ a coup and you ░░░░░░░░ our government and you ░░░░░░░░ an autocratic leader to ░░░░░░░░ pro Western oil contracts ░░░░░░░░ led to our 79 ░░░░░░░░ installing of the autocratic ░░░░░░░░ at which point we ░░░░░░░░ some of your people ░░░░░░░░ and America was all ░░░░░░░░ Right I can t ░░░░░░░░ remember either yeah Do ░░░░░░░░ remember in the 50s ░░░░░░░░ were there man Yes ░░░░░░░░ air was filled with ░░░░░░░░ excitement the weight of ░░░░░░░░ leaning on this moment ░░░░░░░░ triumphant climax of a ░░░░░░░░ long drama finally coming ░░░░░░░░ fruition what the fuck ░░░░░░░░ re going to end ░░░░░░░░ of hostility in a ░░░░░░░░ room in a Best ░░░░░░░░ What is this What ░░░░░░░░ the timeshare sales group ░░░░░░░░ the Roosevelt Suite Or ░░░░░░░░ you blow the whole ░░░░░░░░ on that Jon Stewart ░░░░░░░░ Stop stealing my life ░░░░░░░░ handsome dog Obviously we ░░░░░░░░ t have the audio ░░░░░░░░ what Kerry said to ░░░░░░░░ I m a pretty ░░░░░░░░ lip reader Just going ░░░░░░░░ OK that s John ░░░░░░░░ and he is going ░░░░░░░░ yeah you appointed you ░░░░░░░░ then Zarif they go ░░░░░░░░ Zarif and Zarif s ░░░░░░░░ like Ahhhhh I m ░░░░░░░░ because he pointed We ░░░░░░░░ gotta get the audio ░░░░░░░░ that Looks like everybody ░░░░░░░░ in a good mood ░░░░░░░░ s cherrie This is ░░░░░░░░ real deal man it ░░░░░░░░ a done deal Start ░░░░░░░░ REPORTER It turned out ░░░░░░░░ the deal could not ░░░░░░░░ struck Secretary Kerry left ░░░░░░░░ empty handed End Clip ░░░░░░░░ I guess Zarif don ░░░░░░░░ like it Rock the ░░░░░░░░ rock the treaty By ░░░░░░░░ way I m sure ░░░░░░░░ didn t leave empty ░░░░░░░░ If his Instagram is ░░░░░░░░ indication Yeah Motherfucker loves ░░░░░░░░ mini bar So what ░░░░░░░░ to the deal What ░░░░░░░░ Start Clip REPORTER Secretary ░░░░░░░░ says an interim deal ░░░░░░░░ Iran s nuclear program ░░░░░░░░ extremely close But in ░░░░░░░░ end the Iranians walked ░░░░░░░░ End Clip STEWART Ahh ░░░░░░░░ walked away Son of ░░░░░░░░ bitch Start Clip ANCHOR ░░░░░░░░ didn t set well ░░░░░░░░ his Iranian counterpart Foreign ░░░░░░░░ Zarif who fired back ░░░░░░░░ different version of events ░░░░░░░░ Clip Stewart Ruh roh ░░░░░░░░ I guess Zarif released ░░░░░░░░ pointed diatribe by Iranian ░░░░░░░░ TV Start Clip ANCHOR ░░░░░░░░ pointed the finger firmly ░░░░░░░░ the West Mr Secretary ░░░░░░░░ it Iran that gutted ░░░░░░░░ half of U S ░░░░░░░░ Thursday night he tweeted ░░░░░░░░ publicly commented against it ░░░░░░░░ morning End Clip STEWART ░░░░░░░░ tweeted We haven t ░░░░░░░░ for 34 years we ░░░░░░░░ together and you tweet ░░░░░░░░ break up That s ░░░░░░░░ you do It takes ░░░░░░░░ lot of balls That ░░░░░░░░ a lot of balls ░░░░░░░░ t the tweeting take ░░░░░░░░ gravitas out of it ░░░░░░░░ the way You know ░░░░░░░░ lamps are going out ░░░░░░░░ over Europe we shall ░░░░░░░░ see them lit again ░░░░░░░░ our lifetimes he tweeted ░░░░░░░░